Chained By A Vow
by fadedink26
Summary: This is a story about an older Gail and Holly but not much wiser for it and chronicles what happens when their life together takes a major detour and the struggles they face in trying to reclaim the love they once had. This story takes place a few years after my other story Wrecking Ball and includes sub-plots for Steve, Tracey and Chris.
1. Chapter 1

**3:09 AM**

"I'm going in." Dov Epstein said.

The statement was clear but echoed which was typical of a radio transmission. On the other end of the transmission Steve Peck looked out the windshield into the blackness. The only light coming from a dim streetlight a few feet down the road. There was nothing for him to do yet. This was another run of the mill illegal weapons buy and bust but his ultimate goal was to help Gail get the leader Jonas 'Zeeks' DeCosta on a charge of homicide. He looked over at his sister slumped next to him, she appeared to be sleeping but he knew better. Gail was astutely aware of the transmitted conversation going on; after all, her months of undercover work had led to this sting operation.

Steve felt bored with the job at had and constricted by the small car in which they sat. This made his bones ache from the cold and stillness of the February night. He shifted restlessly and wanted to leave the confines of the vehicle but he was stuck here listening to the scripted conversation he'd heard a million times. Years had thought him that this was thankless job and one which made him an enemy of the people by the people. How many gang bangers did he have to put away for the people of the community to realize they were better off without them? That their children and women would be safer? Steve shifted again trying to get comfortable but couldn't. With all the strain of work, his home life offered no escape. In fact the pressures at home seem to surpass the ones at work.

His mom was a constant disruption in his personal life which caused stress all around. He envied Gail in that moment; their mother wanted nothing to do with her life. Though he couldn't say Gail's life was much happier for it. She seemed to have no trouble creating her own set of problems. But the point was that the pressure from his mom was making his wife unhappy and no matter what he did, he could not find a balance between them.

Tracey was unhappy. It showed in her silence and disappointed stares and for a woman who normally was very vocal and forceful, her silence was deadly. There was just no worst feeling for a man than not being able to make his wife happy and he feared this was something he couldn't fix. His wife was slipping away, he could feel it in every touch she no longer offered.

"It's too quiet." Dov voice transmitted.

"Don't worry man, he'll be here." the informant with Dov said.

Steve waited; there was still nothing for him to do. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that the transmission got lively again.

"Yo its Zinc open up!" said a voice before there was a knock on the door. There was soon the sound of feet rustling and the door creaking open.

"You late man." the informant said.

"By just fifteen fucking minutes. What's your problem?"

"My guy…" he was referring to Dov "Thought you weren't gonna show. Jonas you got it?"

"That's a positive id" came Chris Diaz over Steve's radio and Gail finally rustled beside him as she opened her eyes and sat up in her chair.

"You got my money?" Jonas asked.

"Yeah, show me the stuff." Dov said. There was more shuffling. The transmission skipped and broke.

"Fuck!" Gail was the first to react.

"Someone get back the audio!" Steve commanded his body tensing. They wouldn't afford to miss a moment of the transmission. He didn't want his team going in blind. The audio crackled a few times, only frustrating him further before coming clear again.

"Two coming up, stay alert team." Chris announced. Steve stiffened. On Dov's feed he could hear what sounded like the door opening. Steve eyes narrowed. No one else was supposed to be there. Gail shared her own concerned look.

"We gotta check your man out." Zinc said.

"My man is clean" the informant said. "You take our money now you doubt us?"

"I don't doubt you, I know you little punk been playing me." Zinc barked. "Search him" Zinc ordered one of his men.

"They made him!" Gail cursed.

"That's it! We go in now! Move move MOVE!" Chris commanded. A moment later there were the sounds of violent activity in the house.

Steve tensed as he listened to the command, he had hoped the deal would have gone as planned, but like everything else in his life, this was not to be the case. He and Gail snapped on their seatbelts and Gail geared into action as she called for more support and Steve surged the car away from the curb and drove swiftly down the road towards the action erupting a few blocks away.

**4:07 AM**

"He's in room fourteen." the nurse announced softly to the dazed looking young woman at her counter. "Honey, he's okay." She further assured with kind eyes.

Hillary Stewart nodded but she didn't feel any relief from the nurse's words. In fact she felt chained to an emotion she couldn't explain. She wanted to scream… to release something… anything… but the strength for such an act failed her. The phone call had woken her from a pleasant dream to a real nightmare. _You need to come to the hospital, Chris Diaz has been admitted_ was all the unfamiliar caller had said to her and in movements she didn't quiet remember, Hillary had somehow driven herself here. In retrospect, maybe she should have called Holly. Her sister … her twin, the person who knew her better than anyone.

Holly had done this before. Answered that phone call in the middle of the night saying that Gail was hurt. Being a police officer's wife had its downside Holly would tell her, but then Holly would say she wouldn't change anything about the life she shared with Gail.

"Go see him… room fourteen." The nurse encouraged.

"Ok…" Hillary finally replied and like a zombie she headed down the endless corridor of the cool, white, sterile environment of the hospital looking for room fourteen. When Chris had asked her to be his emergency contact. Hillary had felt a real joy; she had seen this as proof that her relationship with Chris was headed somewhere real and permanent. She had reveled in knowing that if anything happened, Chris wanted her to be the first person contacted, he loved her that much. In all her grand ideas of what this meant. Hillary had failed to picture this scenario. She had failed to comprehend what this really meant and now she felt daunted by the responsibility she had willingly accepted.

"Chris?" Hillary pushed the door nervously and stepped into the room, but it was empty. Chris wasn't there. She then walked over to the bed and touched the sheets of the disheveled bed. The only form of life in the room was a machine beeping by the bed. She doubted she was breathing, her throat felt tight all of a sudden and her mouth dry. "But the nurse just said…" her brain struggled to make sense but only the worst possible scenario claimed her thoughts. "Chris…" she sobbed.

"Yeah babe?"

The voice caused Hillary to jump, her nerves went raw and her hand connected with the side of his cheek in an act that was part love, relieve and definitely anger. "Oh My God! Don't do that to me again!" she practically screamed at him.

He didn't make any sound of anguish, but Chris's expression looked pained as he rubbed his cheek. "Happy to see you too?" he said trying to squeeze in a dimpled smile.

"Oh god! I thought you were dead." Hillary said flinging her arms around his neck, her face burying in his neck.

"Hilly, I'm okay." Chris assured. "Just a little banged up." He told her, when he felt the moisture on his neck.

She was crying.

Chris eased her away gently so that he could face her. His large hands cupped her face and smoothing her hair. He looked at her for a long minute before he offered her a toothy smile. "I'm okay."

She nodded at him, through stained eyes. "I didn't see you … and I … I" she was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Breathe…" he gently encouraged and Hillary took several very ragged breaths. "There you go… just breathe baby…."

**4:09 AM**

"What the heck happened in there?" Detective Gail Peck demanded of her men. Months of working on this case and weeks of undercover work and it had all gone to shit in the space of a few minutes. She was currently pacing outside the crime scene surrounded by bright lights and yellow tape with three dead suspects, one dead informant, one officer in critical care and several others pretty banged up.

"Can we confirm yet if any of the dead suspects is Jonas DeCosta?" she asked. "Can anyone tell me anything useful?" the officers gave her weary looks. Herself and Steve had come upon a barrage of darkness and gunfire which had left several people dead and the only person who could ID Jonas DeCosta was fighting for his life in hospital.

"Dov.." she sighed. How could she have let this happen to her friend?

"Anything?" Gail asked her brother as he walked up to the small group.

Steve shook his head. There was no new information on the case. "I just called Tracey to let her know I would be late." With all their current problems he didn't want her worrying. "Did you call Holly?"

"The girl, is she one of the suspects that went up?" Gail asked ignoring his question. "On the transmission Chris had said two went up but he didn't identify their sex, and later when I asked he said short, black clothing and hoodie. That's the description of all the dead." she spat.

"We don't know Gail. Only Dov…" Steve sighed running a hand through his blonde hair. They had gotten one of their own shot. "… saw their faces and could shed light on this."

"Excuse me Ma'am?" a young man walked up to them, trying to get Gail's attention. She'd seen him on her crime scenes before; he was the Medical Examiner's student trainee. Gail glared at him nonetheless. "Do I look like a Ma'am to you? It's Detective."

The young man bristled stepping back awkwardly. "Sorry, I mean Detective? Peck?" he sounded unsure as he bit his lower lip.

"Yes…" Gail's eyes narrowed. "Get to why you are here wasting my time." Gail snapped. She didn't have time for this.

"The…ME isn't here yet….We can't get a hold of him."

"Tell me something I don't know newbie!"

"Go on Darren, tell us." Steve encouraged as he frowned at Gail.

"The body…I can't determine … cause of death."

"They are all riddled with bullets. Cause of death should be obvious." Gail rolled her eyes.

"Um…the… the female body…is..is" all his medical school training failed him as Gail's blue eyes seem to freeze him over. " Um." Darren cleared his throat. "She looks different…" he explained colloquially. "So I called our Forensic Pathologist…she was the closest." It was now Gail's turn to bristle.

Holly was coming…

**4:17 AM**

Tracey Peck had woken hours ago. Long before her husband's phone call saying he would be late. She had paced the halls of their brownstone, counting each measured step like sheep jumping clouds as she tried to sooth the mind numbing cramping her body was experiencing. She had gently listened to Steve explain how his case had taken a wrong turn tonight and how he was sorry for calling so late and waking her, but didn't want to worry her if she woke and didn't see him. Tracey had smiled through the pain and offered him a gentle reassurance before sending him back to his task at hand.

It was now a few minutes later and she could not offer herself the same comforts and reassurances. Tracey knew what was coming and she couldn't stop it from happening. So she went to the bathroom and she reluctantly gave way to the fragility of life.

After … she sat on the bathroom floor for a long while, silently crying. She wanted her husband, needed him but she couldn't bring herself to call him. It would be selfish to call him now. There was simply nothing he could do, to take away the pain and loss she currently felt. So with strength she did not feel, she got dressed and drove herself to the hospital, but she knew what the doctor would say and she was prepared as she could to hear it. Maybe by morning she would be prepared to tell Steve.

4:19** AM**

"Babe… it's really nothing." Chris said trying to reassure his girlfriend but her brown eyes looked horrified. He was perched on the side of the hospital bed with her standing between his legs as she poked and prodded him. Intent on determining for herself that he was really alive and well. "The bullet just grazed me." He said showing her his bandaged arm and in the excitement I got knocked to the ground, got a bruised forehead and they were worried I got a concussion."

"So you're fine?" Hilly asked with the tilt of her head as she looked over every inch of him.

"I am" he smiled.

"I was worried … I thought you had…"

Chris took her trembling hands in his and rested them upon his heart. "I'm right here Hil... I'm not going anywhere." He promised, even though he knew better. This was her first emergency contact phone all. There would be many to come. If he wanted the life he dreamed about with her. He would need to help her through this one as best as possible.

"Sorry to interrupt." Dr. Pike said walking in, she was on a first name bases with Chris and several other officers, even drank beer with them on Friday nights "Chris back in bed please." said the knowing tone. With a playful but apologetic smile, Chris got back in bed with Hillary still perched at his side. "Everything looks good here" Dr Pike said reading the chart, "…but we want to continue monitoring you for a couple of hours." Chris frowned at this, he wanted out of this bed to see Dov. "If things continue to look good, we will discharge you in the morning."

"Thank you Doctor." Hillary said.

"How is Dov?" Chris asked after a moment.

"He's still in surgery." Dr. Pike seemed to frown. "I'll get you an update as soon as I have one. He's my friend too Chris."

"Thanks Meg." Chris said using her first name, to which she gave a tightlipped nod before leaving the room.

"Dov ?" Hillary couldn't keep the horror from her voice.

Chris nodded solemnly. "He was shot … twice and was unconscious when we brought him in." he tried to explained but Hillary's features seem to fall into a mass of confusion then she seem to lose her battle with her tears altogether. Chris pulled her towards him and held her as she cried for the second time that night. Dov was her friend as much as he was his. They all lived together, shared a life that could only be explained as … family.

**4:21 AM**

"Darren, can grab me a pair of gloves please." Holly said arriving to the crime scene. She scanned the scene for Gail's very distinct blonde head but couldn't spot her in the fury of activity that was taking place. Kneeling before the body of the woman, Holly quickly tucked her hair in a ponytail using the blue band on her wrist. "Thanks" she said accepting the gloves and quickly began her inspection of the body. Darren stayed with her, but remained mostly quiet, he seemed content in observing from a non intrusive distance and Holly was fine with that.

She had been kneeling for a while, twisting her lips this way and that as she made soft sounds of curiosity as her examination of the body continued, when two persons came up behind her.

"Have you found cause of death?" one voice asked, but Holly could tell it was Gail without turning around and so she braced herself.

"I think so…" Holly began.

"Mrs. Peck...um..." Darren flustered. Holly sighed, she had known Darren for the better of three weeks and he still hadn't learnt her name … well the one she used for work. "Dr. Peck." he tried again. Gail growled clearly annoyed.

"Dr. Stewart?" Steve offered finding the situation amusing.

"Dr. Stewart." Darren accepted. "Was it suffocation?" he asked looking hopeful. "I just noticed the scaring on her face, like something was held against it."

Holly smiled. "That is correct, Dr. Tate. Though she has a gunshot wound to her neck and abdomen. That's not what killed her." Holly explained. "Not only that, she didn't just die…"

Steve and Gail's eyes widened.

"I'm putting time of death between 24-36 hours, but I will know more once we take her to the lab." Holly finished getting to her feet.

Gail sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her short blonde hair. "So if this woman didn't just die … one of the suspects got away…" Gail skin seemed to pale. Holly wanted to console her wife in that moment. She knew how hard Gail had been working on this case, but knew better of it. So she instead removed her gloves, giving her hand something else to do.

"Not only that, who is this girl, and why was she killed and is she anyway related to our case?" Steve added his own frustration apparent. "I need to make a few calls." he told Gail before walking of.

"Darren, let them know I'm ready to load the bodies" Holly instructed the young man before he left.

"I need you to widen the canvas to about three more blocks." Gail told a uniformed officer. "A suspect is missing."

"Any description?" the officer asked.

"Yes!" she glared "Look for someone who looks like they were in a shootout." Gail snapped. Her eyes met with Holly's then and Holly watched her swallow a lump. This... tonight was not Holly's fault, but Holly couldn't help think that Gail blamed her for everything else.

"Gail..." Holly said but she simply turns from her. "Gail, please…" The shorter woman stopped. "Are you coming home tonight?" Holly asked softly.

"I don't know…"

**5:00AM**


	2. Chapter 2

7:00 AM

"Gail... wake up...Gail..." the voice was singing to her and it was distinctly feminine. Slowly bringing her to consciousness but Gail was fighting it. She didn't want to wake up, she just wanted to sleep. She was physically too tired and mentally too drained to face today. In fact if today could exist without her having to be a part of it, it would suit her just fine. She could miss a day out of her life. It wasn't that great anyway.

"Go away." she told the intruder sleepily.

"I can't, I promised to wake you."

Gail turned her head in the pillow and groaned. "I need another hour." She pleaded when she felt fingers in her hair. Slender fingers which offered a gentle touch and for a moment she just allowed herself to feel of another person being close.

"Gail…its 7 AM." Fingers massaged her scalp and with a groan Gail finally relented and turned to face the intruder. "Hi…" the voice was pleasant, the face smiling.

"Hi Meg…" Gail's voice was horse.

"I thought I was going to have to throw water on you sleepyhead." Meg rustled Gail's hair.

"No... I'm up!" the reply sounded more panicked than she'd hoped which made Meg laugh. "Thanks for this by the way, it was more comfortable than the waiting room chairs." Gail said finally sitting up and swinging her legs to the ground. She had gotten about an hour of sleep.

It hadn't been enough.

"Don't mention it. Drink this, you will feel better." Meg said handing her a cup. It was steaming black coffee and Gail inhaled the aroma allowing the heat to warm her face before she took a tentative sip.

"How is he?" Gail asked and it didn't take a genius to know she was asking about Dov.

"He's stable and in the ICU" Meg said. "There … there were some complications during surgery." She admitted. "He's in a coma."

"A coma…" Gail repeated the hollow word as her head hung. She gripped the steaming mug tighter, causing the heat to seep through her skin, but she felt nothing or if she did it was nothing compared to the pain she felt inside … a pain that was coupled with a helplessness that she could not yet overcome. "He can't die."

Meg knelt before Gail and touched her chin lifting it. "He's strong. If anyone can beat this. It's Dov."

Gail nodded, but didn't feel comforted. So she did the only other thing she could do. She drank her coffee. "Chris?"

"Just discharged him, he was the last patient on my shift." Meg was saying as she busied herself around the hospital's staff lounge. She collected her scarf and handbag and even disposed of a few stray coffee cups that had been left on a table. "Do you want to maybe grab some breakfast together?" she offered.

Gail considered the offer and was tempted to accept but in the end she shook her head softly, declining the other blonde's offer. "Maybe another time." She said trying to soften the disappointment she saw in Meg's eyes. "I really should get home."

"How about a ride? I'm on your way…"

"Sure." Gail said grabbing her jacket and keys.

7:09 AM

"Trace?" Steve called entering his home but there was no reply. In fact there was no sound at all in the house. There wasn't the familiar sound of Leo's video games. No pots clinkering as breakfast was being prepared or the morning news coming from the old FM radio on the kitchen counter that his grandfather had given him. For a Friday morning, his house was lifeless. Mounting the stairs two at a time he headed straight for the master bedroom and that's where he found her. Glancing down, Steve saw that her eyes were shut, her breathing even.

Tracey was sleeping.

There was a part of him that wanted to wake her with a kiss. To catapult her from slumber to wakefulness the way he'd playfully done many times before, but to do that now felt inappropriate somehow.

"Trace…"

She stirred and he sat on the bed beside her.

"Morning." She sounded groggy.

"Good morning."

He watched her stretch, slender limbs untangling from the sheets. She was the picture of perfection to Steve.

"Did you just get in?" she squinted at the clock on the nightstand before sitting up.

"Mmmhmm" he confirmed pressing a kiss to her forehead. To which she yawned and he smiled. "I thought you'd be getting ready for work." He pulled on his tie to take it off.

"I asked Oliver for the day."

"Yeah?" Steve pulled of the tie and Tracey took it from him. "Why? Are you feeling sick? Is it the baby?"

Tracey nodded slowly.

"Morning sickness?" he almost sounded happy at the thought.

"No babe ..." there was a beat. "…we lost the baby last night." Tracey finally told him. "I had a miscarriage."

"No…"Steve was unmoving, just stared at the space where his child should have been. His thinned lips thinned and his face went white. The invisible tie chocked him.

"This is the third one." he told her despondent. "Did we do something wrong?" he wanted to know.

She shook her head.

"Are you sure? Maybe it's just spotting. That happens right?" Tracey watch as he started to fall apart before her eyes. He had handled the other two pregnancies…miscarriages … better.

"Honey …" she touched his arm, trying to comfort him. "I went to the hospital last night, the doctor confirmed."

"You went by yourself?" concern alarmed his features.

"It's okay."

"No. It's not okay. We were at 11 weeks. How could our baby just be gone?". Disappointment marred his expression. "Are you sure?" Steve asked again, seemingly suffering from dementia.

Tracey nodded.

Steve was on his feet, he tugged at his shirt freeing it from his body and paced, his emotions seemingly too much for the confines of the room. All she could do was watch and wait as he seemed to fly through all the stages of grief right before her eyes.

"Maybe we should see a specialist?" he finally said ten minutes later at the foot of the bed. "Yeah?" he reached for his phone trying to search for a specific number.

"Baby …" Tracey said.

"We'll get the best one in town."

"Honey…."

"Don't worry about the cost. I'll do overtime if I have to."

"Steven."

He finally looks up from the phone.

"I want to stop trying to have a baby…"

7:18 AM

"Grr!" Hillary groaned as they got closer and closer to her car in the parking lot. There was no doubt another vehicle had parked too close to her making it impossible to get in from the driver side. "Why do people always do that?!"

"Hmm?" Chris hadn't been paying attention, he'd been busy updating Tracey via text on Dov's condition and simultaneously getting updates on the case from Steve. It wasn't looking good for his friend however and he'd left Andy keeping vigil at Dov's side.

"You're not listening to me are you?"

"Um … Yes?"

Hilly frowned but she wasn't upset. "It's okay, I know you have a lot going on, with Dov and the case. Did you get his parents? His girlfriend?"

"No. Not yet."

Dov's hippie parents were away at a retreat with no access to telephones. The police department in the town where they were, had promised to send an officer out to the camp to retrieve them. The 'girlfriend' was another story. Chris only knew her as "Anna'' and hadn't met her. All he knew was that Dov had been keeping her a secret, a well-kept one too. He had attempted to call her though, but the only phone number for her found in Dov's phone, went to voicemail, but Dov's parents and girlfriend were the least. Chris had a more important task at hand. He needed to find the person who shot Dov, even if it was the last thing he did. He'd seen his friend this morning. Looking like half he man and officer he knew him to be. Dov had been strapped to tubes and beeping machines.

Looking lifeless.

Only a few hours before Chris had watched Dov carefully study his script and went over with each and every member of the support team the task at hand. Dov had wanted everyone to be prepared and they had been. So why had the night ended so miserably? And in that moment, he'd made a vow to Dov that no matter what happened. What had been done to him would not go unpunished.

"I'm sure they will turn up soon" Hilly said before she added "I'm taking over from Andy a little from now."

"You know, you don't have to do that right?"

"I know, but I want to. He's like my brother." Hillary told him. "He shouldn't be alone."

"You are amazing you know that?"

"No I'm not" she blushed. "But it's always nice hearing it from you."

Chris grinned and took a step forward turning his attention to the situation at hand.

The car.

"The driver was probably in a rush babe and it was probably dark when they parked." Chris reasoned.

"Really, so dark that they can't see how close they are to a pink car?" Hillary wasn't buying that. Her mini cooper could be spotted from a mile away. "If you're going to make excuses for asses, you need to come up with better ones."

Chris couldn't argue with that.

"I'm sure they didn't deliberately do it. Just see if you can squeeze in from the passenger side." He sounded unintentionally dismissive.

Hillary sent him a look that would have withered a duke maybe even a prince . "Oh, really? Just squeeze in?!" She pushed past him in annoyance. The fact that she could squeeze in wasn't the point. Inconsiderate people always did crap like this. It was frustrating!

Chris was right behind her, leaning close and whispering, "I love it when you get in a snit. It makes me hot." He wasn't bothered by her tone one bit. They had been together for two plus years now. He knew how to 'handle' Hillary Stewart.

She whirled around and glared in the face of his wide grin. "I do not get into snits."

Chris merely raised his eyebrows.

Her lips twitched then. "You're insufferable, you know."

"So I've been told."

Chris couldn't help it. He simply had to taste her. Right there in the parking lot, it had been too long since their last. He pulled her close before she knew what he was doing. Whatever she'd been about to say was muffled by his mouth coming down on hers.

Hillary started to pull away, but Chris was lost at the taste of her. When you did a job where you come close to dying every day. It was having a woman to kiss like this that made life worth living.

His hands gentled.

His mouth did not.

Then she sighed and relaxed into the kiss, her arms drifting to his shoulders, and Chris forgot the rest of the world existed.

She had a few things to learn when it came to being a police officer's girlfriend, but kissing wasn't one of them. In the past two years Chris had discovered she knew her way around a man's mouth and now she was being merciless with him.

God have mercy.

He finally forced himself to break away. It was that or give new meaning to the term Park at your own risk. He took one last little taste of her bottom lip – " In the car or at home?" he murmured – then let her go.

"Um—" Hillary's eyes were a bit unfocused, her lips all soft and thoroughly kissed. She cleared her throat, and stepped away. "Car." She smirked.

Would he be _up_ for it?

7:24 AM

Holly had been on her way out the door, when she heard the front door open and Gail entered their townhouse. She looked tired and moody, which was typical for this time of the morning, but Holly knew there was more to her wife sullen mood today.

"Hi … good morning. How did the rest of the night go? I left coffee" Holly was just saying words " …but no breakfast. I wasn't sure if—"

Gail's mouth slammed into Holly's with a precision that spoke of furious control and deadly expertise. The kiss instantly quieted a fear that had been building in Holly for weeks. Her wife still wanted her. Gail tasted perilously addictive to Holly, but that's what happened when you hadn't had something for months. It made you want and crave it like a needle needing a vein. Holly couldn't help but submit to the kiss from a woman who knew exactly what she was doing.

Part of Holly's stunned brain, the smallest part still working, instantly flooded with years of memories of being kissed by this Gail, but none could really compare to this kiss in this moment. This kiss had been long in coming …it had been fantasized about in daydreams and provided comfort for sleepless nights…but it had also carried with it a quiet fear that it wouldn't come or if it did, it would come too late…but here it was. Right on time and it was making everything right.

Gail's frame was iron-hard. She felt rigid to the touch which wasn't unusual. It was only later in their lovemaking that Gail relaxed. Holly's excitement grew as their tongues thrust and tangled. Rivulets of molten sensation poured into her bloodstream. Sparking shards of fire cascaded through her. She wanted more. More of the delicious heat.

For, despite the ravaging intensity of the kiss, she sensed Gail restrained herself. Gail was rock solid, unmoving, except for her mouth and the hand caressing Holly's scalp in seductively slow circles, drawing the fear and worry away. Yet it did nothing to lessen the tension building inside.

A different sort of tension.

Pleasure ignited.

It burned brighter than the fear that had crowded her or the fury born of frustration that had catapulted her into responding. Her hands slid up Gail's breast, past the quick thud of her heart. Holly's fingers grazed the hot skin of Gail's neck, her jaw, before tunneling into locks of silk.

Holly heard a low growl.

A growl of need and satisfaction, and had no idea if it came from her or Gail. She simply wanted more of this magic. With her arms over Gail's shoulders her body stretched against hers. Hot shivers of delight racked her. Her breasts grazed silk and the heavy friction of Gail's chest, drawing her nipples into hard little nubs.

Could Gail feel them?

The thought excited her unbearably. The arm around her slid up and a palm curved round her, burrowing beneath her coat. She'd swear it branded her through the silk of her top. Fingers swirled lazily at her side, skimmed higher, brushing the side of her breast in a teasing, deliberate move that sent a jolt of response through her.

Holly sagged, clutching Gail's hair, waiting for her next touch. This time it was heavier, molding to the side of her breast before sliding down to her waist. She moaned, holding Gail's head in a fierce embrace as she poured out her need into a kiss that grew slow and lush despite the urgency escalating inside her.

A pulse throbbed low between her legs. Gail's hand circled her waist then slid down her bottom, fingers splayed. With a jerk Gail tugged her close and high till she was pressed to the length of her. Solid thighs supported hers. She molded to those breasts and hard belly, and felt her hand being placed at the apex of Gail's thighs. Signaling a need Holly couldn't mistake. She gasped at Gail's blatant need. Fire poured through her, pooling low as she gave in to temptation and rubbed against Gail.

She felt glorious.

Their kiss grew sumptuous, heavy with promise. Ribbons of heat unraveled through Holly, weighting her limbs. Holly pressed closer. Gail's hands clamped hard on her buttocks, drawing her higher so their bodies aligned perfectly.

Bliss beckoned.

Something vibrated against her chest. A low buzz of sound penetrated the syrupy haze of bliss. There was stillness but for the beat of hearts pounding in unison and the heated pulse of Gail's breath in her mouth—and that low buzzing. Then Gail's hands were on her upper arms as her mouth lifted. Holly gasped for air, her breath raw and loud. Did Gail realize she was in danger of slumping boneless at her feet? Was that why she held her so hard? Dazed, Holly cataloged her wife's rumpled hair and the smear of lipstick at the corner of her mouth.

Holly wanted to lean back in and taste her mouth again. Until she lifted her gaze and saw the glint in Gail's eyes. At last Holly found the presence of mind to stumble back, away from that knowing scrutiny. She grasped the small table beside her to keep herself upright since her legs had dissolved into quivering jelly. She blinked, taking in the fact that they were in the hallway. They'd reached the bedroom door without her realizing!

Gail reached for her phone and Holly could only stare. She hadn't even connected the buzzing vibrations with anything as ordinary as a cellphone. She'd been on another plane entirely. A strange hollow ache engulfed her, as if Gail had scooped out her insides. Her lips throbbed, tingling in the aftermath of that punishing kiss. No, not punishing, not after that first moment.

Thrilling.

Exciting.

Soul-destroying.

She had missed being kissed.

Her fingers tightened on the table as Gail turned away and spoke into the phone. Holly concentrated on deep breaths, trying to slow her galloping pulse. And all the while she felt as if she'd stepped off a precipice into a world she didn't recognize. It was only as silence filled her ears that she realized she'd shut her eyes, trying to gather the tattered remnants of control. Gathering her strength Holly opened her eyes. A crumpled navy shirt faced her. Unbuttoned. She forced herself to look past those round breasts, that firm chin, past compressed lips that mere moments ago had taken her by storm, to glittering midnight-blue eyes that seared straight into her soul.

"I want you …" Gail breathed before taking her into her arms again.

Gail wasn't sure of anything except that Holly had weakened her. With one look and a few rushed words, Holly had broken through her defenses. She had intended to be in control of herself. One kiss she'd told herself, but the moment her mouth brushed against Holly's, a short, explosive fuse ignited. Any intention she had of keeping the encounter light and teasing was instantly blown away. She needed her wife and the feelings she'd stirred up with that first kiss now tore through her in a series of explosions, and wave after wave of sensations rocked her.

Gail had never been so aware of her wife before – the helpless hitch of Holly's breath when she nipped at her bottom lip, the husky, pleading sound of her moan as she swallowed it, and her skin … it was on fire. Gail could feel the flames licking at her fingers as they moved down Holly's throat over her breasts, burning her even through the thin material of the silk blouse. And her taste, the deep ripe flavor poured through Gail.

Gail had sensed this raw passion in Holly before, simmering beneath the surface, waiting to break free. In the early stages of their relationship they had often given way to it. She had encouraged Holly to be sexually free with her but in the past few months it had become caged and lost its spark, but Gail could feel it now in the way her wife's hands gripped her, in the way her mouth met each of her demands with one of her own.

Desperation clawed at Gail as she ran her hands over Holly. She knew she was being rough. And in some distant part of her mind, Gail knew she should slow down, be patient. But her hands seemed to be operating of their own accord, following one directive – she simply had to get Holly closer to her. Impatient with the blouse, Gail stripped it down to her waist and cupped Hollý's breast in her hand. It was as soft as rainwater.

Liquid silk.

Gail wanted to savor it, taste it, but Holly arched against her, calling her name.

She had to have more.

So Gail tugged and pulled, unzipped and unbuttoned. Until she was a touch away. Her fingers skimmed the waist band of the underwear, caressed Holly's hip and inched the lace fabric over silk hips. That's when she felt Holly tense and trembling fingers push against her.

"I can't…stop please."

"Baby you can … we just need to get past..."

"Please don't." came the plea again. " I can't" the tears came next.

"Ok. I won't."

Frustrated Gail stepped back, leaning on the other side of the hallway and she watched as Holly scurried to pull back up her pants. Then they just stood there facing each in a hallway that was no more than 3ft in width but suddenly felt like 100 ft.

"Will I ever be able to touch you there again?" Gail asked.

She really wanted to know. It had been three month since they had been intimate. Three months of having to watch her relationship slowly fall apart. The vows she'd taken openly and honestly felt void of understanding in the face of her current predicament, but here she was chained by them.

"I don't know." Holly sobbed.


	3. Chapter 3

7:13 AM

"Are you going to tell me why?" Steve asked as he followed Tracey who was hurriedly making her escape down the stairs and into the kitchen. "I don't understand. You can't just say something like that then drop the conversation. Especially right after telling me we just lost our child." He was walking fast and he felt like he was running to keep up with her. "Babe, I think I deserve some explanation here".

Tracey spun around so quickly that Steve almost bumped into her. "I'm tired Steve. Just tired." She told him. She reached for a mug from the cupboard and poured herself some coffee, taking a long drink.

"Isn't that hot?"

"Yes."

"Shouldn't you blow on it first?" he asked concerned.

"No." she rolled her eyes before pouring him a mug and handing it to him. He took a sip and it scorched his mouth causing him to cough and spill some of it.

"That's hot!" he cursed fanning his lips. She handed him a hand towel.

"I just want our life back." Tracey explained placing two pieces of bread in the toaster. "Now it's just consumed with talks of having a baby and your mother's constant nag about a _Peck Heir_ and how I'm the only one she can count on since Gail decided to _Lez it up_. Why does everything your mom say have to come across so offensive?" She sighed.

He did the same.

"Don't you want a baby with me?" Steve asked mopping up the spill. "We can't give up just because of my mother."

"Of course I want to have your baby." Tracey asserted. "and it's not just Elaine. I can't deal with the loss anymore. It's too hard." She buttered two slices of toast and cut them on the diagonal.

"I know it's hard, I lost them too."

"No." she stopped him. "No you didn't. You weren't the one who was pregnant, you didn't wake in the middle of the night bleeding, and you didn't feel the cramping. So I'm the one who lost three pregnancies in four months.

Steve thought she was being harsh, he may not have been pregnant, but that didn't mean his loss was insignificant. He had wanted their pregnancies as much as she did. Sure he'd been against it at first, especially since it had been initiated by his mother. Who had constantly impressed upon him the importance of continuing the Peck lineage.

"Okay" he conceded. "But can you at least agree to see the specialist. So that we can at least find out what's causing the miscarriages?"

"Sure. Fine" it was now her turn to concede, but Tracey already knew what was causing the miscarriages. She was 95% certain it had to do with the gunshot wound she sustained she night Holly was attacked.

7:31 AM

"So that's it?" Holly demanded. "You're not going to say anything? Just act like nothing happened?" she was perched at the doorway, arms folded watching Gail.

After their little 'standoff' in the hallway, Gail had preceded to the bathroom to take a quick shower. She had needed it; cold water had a way of calming the sexually frustrated and Holly had given her a serious case of 'pink balls'.

"Nothing did happen." Gail flung, which caused Holly to recoil. Still feeling irritated she dragged on her shirt over dark jeans and sat on the edge of the bed to put on her boots.

"So you're just going to leave?"

"Are we going to have sex?" Gail's question is met with silence and averted eyes. "That's what I thought."

"Gail… we should try and work this out."

"I couldn't agree more, but I'm not the one with the problem. Am I?" her response was cutting.

"Baby I'm trying…"

"Are you?! Really?!" Gail demanded as she laced a boot. "I've done everything you asked Holly." She got from the bed and reached for her watch and mobile that was on the nightstand. "You wanted support. I gave it to you. You needed time. I was patient. You wanted space. I've been sleeping on the couch for months. I have been trying to get us back on track, but it feels like you've been doing everything to push me away. So yes I'm leaving. I'm going to work, where people need me because I'm not wanted here."

Holly had given her no reason to stay. They had been in this cycle for months and there had been little change. Gail tried to be close, only to be pushed away every time. First Holly wouldn't allow her to touch her at all. Then when they moved pass that it was the cringing and tensing and crying. She'd almost envied the days when Holly simply said no to being intimate.

"I don't mean to push you away."

"But you do...every time." Gail sighed approaching her.

"I'm sorry." Holly's head bowed.

"I know I wasn't there at the start. When you needed me the most." Gail confessed. "I messed up. I ran away. I couldn't face what had happened to you, here … in our home."

Holly's head lowered then. She felt ashamed and blamed herself. How had she allowed herself to be violated … to be robbed of the one thing they held dear. Did Gail blame her for it?

Yes.

Her eyes burnt and blurred and she wanted to run but she felt chained to the door. Gail was finally talking …in circles, but talking nonetheless. So she listened…painfully.

"But I came back. Holly I came back for you, because no matter how great the loss on that day was. I still had you and I believed that we could get pass this together." Gail released a breath and wiped at her eyes, trying the keep the tears at bay. "But now it feels like you're punishing me for leaving in the first place."

"I don't mean to. I just –"

"I know … but we can't have a relationship without being intimate…without sex." she was facing Holly head on when she said it. "You aren't my roommate. You're my wife. You should want me, to make love to you. If we don't have that. What are we doing?"

"I do. I do want you."

Gail felt Holly touch her cheek and the touch burnt with a need she'd been denied many times. With all the hurt she was feeling she jerked Holly's hand away.

"Please don't tease me." She said before stepping passed her into the hallway.

7:48 AM

… And then he was crawling to her, all but ripping the cords from her ankles. Chris stood, shoving his pants down and off, violently kicking them across the room before shakily grabbing her hips and pulling her straight up from the chair, her wrists still bound behind her. He spun them around, so that he sat in the chair,then yanked her down astride his lap, plunging deep into her with one thrust.

"Yes!" Hillary screamed. So didhe.

They fought to join themselves as deeply as they could. And they both shouted all the way up and through first her climax, then his.

And it still wasn't enough. Chris tore the cord from her wrists so she could bury her hands in his hair, grip his head, pull his face to her breasts and hold on as they continued to ride and thrust. It wasn't enough, he needed more.

Deeper.

All of her.

Claiming.

Her soul.

Consuming.

Her very being.

"Wrap your legs around me." He rose as she complied then turned so they both fell on the bed and he buried himself in her again, still ragingly hard despite how hard he'd come. "Dear God, I'll never have enough of you," he said roughly as he pushed her up the bed with the force of his thrusts. "Never."

"Yes" Hillary breathed pushing against him, clawing at his back, his hair, his buttocks. "Please don't stop!"

"No!" Chris hissed taking and then taking some more. "You're mine."

And when Hillary went over again, he was watching her, wanting her all over again just because she stunned him with how beautifully she came apart for him, even as his body finally gave out.

When he slipped out of her and they rolled to their sides, he didn't let her go, tangling her body with his, holding on like it was for dear life. And maybe it was. She was dearer to him than anything, any case any mission, anything. He wanted life, with her. He finally found his voice only to discover it was shaky … and with more than exhaustion. "Hillary—"She looked up at him, a smile of something close to awe curving her lips.

"We scare me." She told him.

Chris knew exactly how she felt. But there was something greater than what they'd just done that was even more terrifying. In a wonderful, amazing, fantastic sort of way. It was all but bursting from him, but to give voice to it now … would she think it was the sex talking or the fact that he could have been where Dov was today? "I'm afraid to ask what your other fantasies are," he said instead, debating, dying, partly lying.

"I'm afraid to tell you," she said, laughing even as she fought to control her breathing. "and this was like number six on the list, especially after you bailed on doing it in public."

Chris laughed. He wasn't prudish, but the thought of doing it butt naked in the car scared him a bit.

She scared him sometimes.

He rolled to his back then, pulling her on top of him, suddenly as serious as he'd ever been. "I'm afraid to tell you something, that you'll think it's because of this, or you'll just think I'm cheesy and ridiculous in general."

Hillary pushed her hands into his hair, scooted up to kiss him soundly on the mouth. "I just let you tie me to a chair and have a forced sex fantasy and you're worried that I'm going to think anything you say or do is cheesy and ridiculous?" She grinned. "Please, have a little faith." Then she dropped the sweetest kiss to the center of his chest and he just said it.

He couldn't help it.

"You're the best I've ever had . " Chris admitted. "You just make my life a million times better, more complete and I don't think I could ever live without your love. I really do love you more each day."

She stilled, and an god awful second he thought he'd blown it. Then she looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears and … everything he'd ever wanted to see. "You are cheesy," she whispered. "but I love you anyway."

If a person could die from too much happiness, then Chris suspected he was as good as dead. He rolled her gently to her back, pushed his hand into her hair,framed her face. "It's not about the sex."

Hillary burst out laughing even as the first tear escaped the corner of her eye.

He grinned, feeling his own eyes get a bit glassy. "Okay, so the sex is so-so. We'll work on it." She swatted at him and he laughed and he kiss her, nuzzled her neck and breathed her in. Then he went serious again and he looked down into her glassy orbs and he knew what he wanted more than anything. "Hillary, will you—" He was cut off by the ringing of the both stilled, looked at each other, as it rang reached for it. The caller ID said _Andy_ "Hello?"

"Chris its Dov …"

* * *

AN: I just want to say a quick thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. I realize there are tons of Gail/Holly stories to choose from. So the fact that you've chosen mine to read is a privilege in itself. A very special THANK YOU for those who reviewed. As a writer it brings that added support and joy to hear what you think and to know you enjoy the material as it's presented. Thanks! : )


	4. Chapter 4

7:50 AM

_It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience. -_ _Julius Caesar_

Gail couldn't help but think Caesar was right because here she was rushing to work every day to face unknown dangers, yet she found it hard to endure the emotional turmoil that was her Holly had asked her to do was give her she needed to be more patient. Maybe the results she wanted where coming but she had to wait for them.

She needed to be patient.

Once in the kitchen, Gail poured herself a bowl of cereal and doused it with almond milk. Yes, she was drinking milk made from a nut now. That's what life with Holly had reduced …no uplifted her to. The first year had been a challenge with the overall salt and sugar reduction in her diet but she'd been better off for it. She had allowed Holly to help her become a better person both inside and out. As corny as it sounded, it had been true.

It hadn't been easy though. There had been compromises and periods of adjustments. Holly had seemingly bent to accommodate her and when she could bend no further Holly had put her foot down. There had been fights, ignored phone calls and unanswered doors but they had gotten past it and had been better for it.

So when it came time to celebrate her accomplishment at becoming a detective coupled with 12 months of being together. They had taken it to Las Vegas. There had been drinking, gambling, pole dancing and many tequila shots but in the fury of it all. Promises had been made, vows taken and though much of that night was not to be remembered. How she felt the moment Holly became her wife was unforgettable. Her life had begun in that moment and yet now, it felt like it was ending.

"I'm going to head in to work." Holly was saying. Gail watched her gather her handbag and nosily looked for keys that were lost under a sea of mail sprawled on the center table. "I should have some answers for you on the body before midday … so um. You can come by the lab."

Gail nodded and stuffed cereal in her mouth.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do want to get us back on rack. I do want to be your wife in every possible way." Holly edged closer to the kitchen island. "I don't mean to reject you. I don't like seeing the hurt in your eyes when I can't go through with it." She confessed. "But please, don't give up on us."

"I'm not." Gail admitted. "But I don't think I'm helping you… helping us." She let her spoon fall to the bowl in a small act of frustration. There weren't a lot of things that defeated her …but this did and she had three months of failure to show for it.

"What do you mean?"

"I think we are doing something wrong..." Gail tried to explain. "That maybe we need help…to work through this. What we're doing is not working."

"Like?"

"Like a therapist." Gail suggested.

Holly flinched as if being stung.

"I know you're scared to talk about what happened, but it may help to." Gail explained. "We have done it our way, now maybe we need to try someone else's."

Holly looked hesitant, her mouth twisted in deep contemplation and her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath. "You sure?".

Gail's phone rang. Then Holly's.

"I'm sure." Gail said ignoring the call for a moment. Her caller ID said Chris. "It's helped me in the past."

"Okay. Let's find a doctor." Holly agreed before answering her phone. "Hilly? Yeah? Okay. Thanks." She clicked off the phone. "Dov went into cardiac arrest …they are at the hospital with him now."

11:48 AM

"Hey…" Gail's head peered through Holly's lab door. "Busy?"

Holly looked away from the body in front of her and turned to the door. "Never too busy for you" She smiled. It was crooked. "Came to check on the girl?" She took off her glasses.

"No .." Gail nervously rubbed the back of her neck. "I came to see you actually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Wanna have lunch?" she was trying. Maybe they could be close without sex?

"Um" Holly looked unsure. "I actually made plans with Hillary." She frowned. "I could cancel, or you could join us?" she was making helpful suggestions.

"Um.." Gail sucked her lips. "No don't do that. We can just have dinner tonight when I get in."

"You're coming home?"

It had to be asked.

"Yes…" Gail stuffed her hands in her pocket, head lowered. "Is that okay?"

"I'd like that very much."

"Okay … so dinner … at home." It was like a reservation.

Holly nodded. "Gail.."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe you don't have to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" Holly confirmed.

"Okay"

And that was that.

"So I know you didn't come about the girl, but I have something for you." Gail stepped closer, reached for a stool and perched comfortably in front of Holly's examination table. "So she's female, Caucasian about twenty four, twenty five. Time of death based on liver temp is 30-35 hours."

"Uh huh" Gail made notes as Holly spoke.

"She um…" there was a pause and a small catch in her voice. "She recently gave birth…she was full term. I found the placenta still in her."

Gail looked up. "I should be looking for a baby as well or a body?"

"A baby …" Holly nodded but she seemed saddened by the news she had just delivered.

"Gail..."

Gail looked up from her notepad but said nothing. She was instead trying to gage what would happen next. What would Holly ask next and how would she take whatever answer Gail provided. "Yeah?" she finally answered.

"Do you think we'll ever know?" Holly asked and Gail knew she wasn't asking about the current missing child. No, Holly was asking about their child. The one that was stolen from their home three months ago. "Do you think we'll ever find her?"

Gail breathed. She didn't know. She didn't have the answers Holly sought. Though has a police officer, she should have been able to provide them. Maybe not all but at least some.

She had nothing.

"I haven't given up. I haven't lost hope, Hol. I'm still looking for Ava. I want to bring her home to you." She told her wife, but as an officer of the law, she knew it was hopeless. The attackers that night had simply wanted their baby. She had probably been sold on the black-market and probably out of the country by now, but Gail couldn't tell Holly that. She couldn't look in the face of her wife and tell her to give up, because on the night Ava was taken. She'd made a vow to find her and it was a vow she'd forever be chained to until their daughter was home. The only thing that kept Holly moving each day was the promise Gail had made that night. Gail couldn't afford to take that hope away.

"Okay." Holly said, but Gail could tell that her answer provided no relief. "You should also know that I found a substance on her shoe. I've sent it for testing. It might provide some indication of where she was before her death and the fibers in her nose ... also sent for testing."

Gail nodded and rose from the stool preparing to leave, but then she stopped. "Are you going to be okay?" she was remembering to show concern. Avoidance and emotional distance wasn't everyone's strong suit. "I know this … its hitting close to home."

Holly nodded and forced a smile, but it lacked with believability it needed. "I'll be okay. Go and find this woman's killer and find out what happened to her baby."

"I will." Gail said finally making her way to the door.

"And Gail…" she turned to face Holly again. "I'm sorry about Dov…"

12:16 PM

"Hi…" the smile was bright. The sweater brighter.

"Hi …" Gail's response was guarded as she rose from her desk. "What?" Gail looked around the squad room, lowering her voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing by. I heard about Dov… I'm sorry hun."

"Yeah… me too." Gail didn't know what else to say.

"Busy?"

"Yeah…" it was almost a whisper. "Kind of busy."

"I figured, so I thought I'd bring you lunch to cheer you up a bit." Meg smiled softly holding up a bag for Gail to see. "One of your favorites - Tuna Melt on Wheat."

When did Meg learn this about her?

"You brought me lunch?" a curious brow was raised. Another look around the squad room was taken.

"Yes." It was a matter of fact. "With all that's happening, I figured you wouldn't have time to eat, so I figured I'd bring you lunch. Especially since I have the day off and wasn't very busy." Meg was rambling. "Did you have lunch already or something?"

Gail shook her head. "No…" the response was sheepish.

"Then I was right to bring it by." Meg beamed. "So here." she shoved the parcel in Gail's hands. "Enjoy!" she leaned in to quickly kiss her cheek.

"Thanks." The reply was unsure.

"Don't' mention it, anything to help."

Gail just stood there, speechless for a moment. When was the last time anyone had brought her lunch? Much less her favorite. Taking a whiff of the bag, she smiled. Then peeked inside the bag. She smiled again.

"So …" Meg shuffled her feet nervously. "I'll leave you to it. Bye…"

"Um …Do you want to maybe join me?" Gail offered.

"Are you sure? Aren't you busy?"

"It's a big sandwich and I can spare a few minutes for someone who took the time to bring me lunch."

"Then I'd love to." Meg smiled.

* * *

AN: So can anyone hazard a guess as to what exactly happened to Holly 3 months ago? And what's the deal with Meg? Hmm?


	5. Chapter 5

**12: 39 PM**

"You know what would help?" Steve finally said.

He'd been sitting at his desk watching Gail stare at the two evidence boards before them. One was filled with leads and suspects from the DeCosta investigation. The other blank.

He'd watch his sister grunt and sigh. Pace the room one hundred times and dragged her hand through her hair a million times more. She was also on her fourth cup of coffee and had taken to snapping at everyone who walked by. She'd practically attacked a rookie who had dared to ask her a concerned question above Dov.

"What?" she grunted.

"Actually putting some evidence on the board." He said rising to stand beside her. Steve mimicked her movements by leaning on the edge of the desk, arms folded, feet crossed.

"Don't you think I know that? But we have no evidence Steve!?" she sounded exasperated.

"Yes we do." He took a photo from the tray and placed it on the board. It was the victim as she was found at the crime scene.

Gail rolled her eyes. "Well that's not helpful…"

"What do you see?"

"Really?"

"Hmmhmm" he murmured.

"Okay. Caucasian female, about age 24 or 25. Recently pregnant. Died of suffocation." Gail responded.

Steve shook his head, but smiled. "That's what Holly told you. What do you see?"

"Um.." Gail studied the picture closer, her eyes squinting as she did so. "Her clothes are very worn, but looks relatively clean. She looks well fed."

"Good … and?"

"Her canvas sneakers look new?" she was guessing she'd know more by looking at the actual clothing as soon as the lab was finished processing them. "The bottom of them are still white, so she couldn't have gotten them more than a few days ago."

"So what does that tell us?"

"She is poor? Maybe from the streets? And she just got into some money? Or someone's recently helping her?"

"That's my assessment too." Steve agreed as he made a few jottings on the board with the dry erase pen. "Once we get Holly's report we will know more. In the meantime did her photo come up on any of our databases?"

Gail looked to the geeky young kid a desk away. Gail knew him as the 'IT person'. "Any hits?" she asked him.

"You talking to me?" he was imitating the quote from _Taxi Driver_ badly. Gail didn't find it amusing.

"Yes Martin." Steve acknowledged. "What you have for us?"

"No hits yet …" he punched in a few more information on his keyboard. "Wait…." A collective breath was held. "Yes! I think … we have a match." They rushed over to his desk, peering over his shoulder as they looked at his screen. "It's only 80% match, but it's linked to a missing child report, sixteen years ago."

"Do you think it's her?" Steve voiced. They looked from the eight year old child's picture to that was the victim's.

"Lana Lewis, went missing from her home in Brampton." Martin read. "Reported missing by her parents Mark and Susan Lewis. The gardener, Jose Vargas was suspected but no evidence found to convict. Case still open…"

The screen seemed to blur in front of Gail in that moment and all she could feel was a pain in the pit of her stomach. This could have been her child. Years later found killed in unknown circumstances. She couldn't see herself surviving an outcome like that. How could Holly? She needed to find out what happened to this woman.

"It could be her…" she decided. "Pull the file and all the evidence. I want the DNA on file tested with the victim" She ordered. "I need to know if Lana Lewis is our victim."

"Who was the lead detective? I'll speak to them." Steve finally asked. He'd been watching, waiting to see how Gail would handle the information. This case was hitting so close to home and too soon after the tragedy. Gail and Holly were not dealing with the loss of their child. He and Trace weren't doing that much better. The Pecks were a mess and this case could only further shake a very unstable foundation.

"It's Detective Peck"

"Who?" Gail and Steve asked in union.

"Detective Bill Peck." Martin confirmed.

Gail and Steve shared curious looks. This had been their father's case?

**12:42 PM**

"Am I late?" Hillary asked taking a seat at their favorite eatery.

"No more than usual." Holly winked.

"Sorry. I know you have work."

"Don't worry about it. I ordered for you." Holly took a sip of her fruit drink before she asked. "How is he?"

"Stable… again" Hillary helped herself to Holly's drink. Almost emptying it. "For now, so they are closely monitoring him. He really scared us this morning. Cardiac arrest? What does that even mean?" her brown eyes looked worried.

"It's when the -" she was cut off by Hilly.

"What if he doesn't make it Holly?"

"Don't think like that. We have to keep positive." Holly encouraged.

"How do I get Chris through that? Dov's his best friend." Hillary sounded panicked. "How do I get myself through it?"

Holly was use to death. People died everyday just to meet her. Her sister was a lot less exposed. In fact a part from their grandfather, no one else had died for Hillary.

"I know it seems hard but..." their food came, stopping the conversation short and Holly watched as Hillary accepted her meal but made no attempt to eat it. In fact she played with the fries and took several long looks at her chicken sandwich. "Hill, what's going on?" Holly finally asked. She could tell there was more going on with her sister.

"I got called to the hospital last night when Chris was injured…." Hillary told her.

"Hmmhmm"

"I thought he had died and it just broke something in me Hol. The loss felt insurmountable." her sister admitted.

"That's natural … you love him." Holly had gotten a few calls of her own. It was gut wrenching and nerve rattling. It kept you in a constant state of fear that was crippling all the way to the hospital until you found the person you loved and knew they were all right. You hoped with each call that it got easier but it didn't.

It just didn't.

"And now death is a very real possibility for Dov…" her lower lip trembled as she spoke. "What if Chris actually gets shot one day? It's too much Holly. I don't think I can do it."

"What are you saying Hil?" Holly was concerned.

"I don't think I'm strong enough." Hillary admitted tearfully. "I don't think I can be with Chris anymore…"

**1:06 PM**

"Dad wants us to come by the house. He'll tell us about the case." Steve said disconnecting the phone call to his dad. "He seemed to be in a state of shock when I told him that DNA from a woman matched a missing child case he did. He wants to help in any way he can."

"Will mom be there?"

"You know she will Gail."

"In that case, can I pass?" Gail sighed; she really didn't want to see her mom right now. Their relationship, was strained to say the least and it would have been altogether nonexistent if her dad hadn't put his foot down.

"I guess, I could go alone and fill you in after." Steve offered. To which Gail hastily accepted. Though, to be honest he wasn't in the mood to face his mother either. Elaine Peck would ask about the pregnancy …she always did.

He would have to explain the loss.

His loss.

Tracey's loss.

Steve wasn't ready to share that loss with anyone other than his wife. It was still too new, too fresh, too deep and yet too unreal for him to believe. He'd barely had time to process, to grieve, only to be thrust into this case which also had a child missing or worst dead.

"Detective Peck?" it was Darren coming towards them. With the flick of her hand Gail gestured for him to come closer. "Dr. Stewart said to get this to you right away." Gail took the document and quickly scanned through it, looking for anything that could aid their investigation.

"Gail?" Steve pierced his lips with a look of disapproval "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" she made a face.

"Don't you want to say something to Darren?" Steve encouraged.

"Um…"she thought about it. "Thanks kid" she grumbled. It was barely audible.

Darren in all his awkwardness gave his own smile of appreciation. "Anything to help detective." He told her happily before hurrying off.

"I shouldn't have to tell him thanks." She glared at Steve. "It's his Job."

"It is." Steve agreed. "But being nice makes your job easier when you have to work with other people." He explained.

His sister was a brilliant detective, but she could also be a grade 'A' asshole when the mood took her. If it wasn't for the Peck name and the strong Stewart influence coming from Holly's father and the formidable military and police circles he ran in. Steve feared what would have happened to his sister's career by now. Did she even understand all that had been done to help her succeed? The backs that were rubbed? The sacrifices made and the pressures applied?

Probably not.

A retort was on the tip of her tongue, he was sure of that but her phone pinged stopping her short and she reached for it.

"Chris?" Steve inquired; he hadn't seen him all morning.

Gail checked the message. "Holly" she confirmed. "She's reminding me to be home for dinner."

"You need reminding?" he was curious.

"Apparently." There was a slight annoyance to her tone.

The last few weeks of text messages between her and Holly where, well routine, dull and consisted of task. Such as remember to get milk. Pick up the dry cleaning and the famous. _Are you coming home tonight? _

Gail remembered when messages between them where a mile long and filled with suggestive sexual overtones that had her running to the lab in the middle of the day or stealing kisses in the interrogation room. Some were random, but funny and engaging and really confirmed how much she just really enjoyed talking to her wife about any and everything. She could still recall the last text conversation they had before it all went to shit.

_Gail: How is the seminar going?_

_Holly: Baby I'm dying._

_Gail: Uh? From?_

_Holly: Lack of cunnilingus._

_Gail: Lol. I'm sure that's the pregnancy talking but I share your sentiments. We have 3 days b4 you're home. Your medial seminars take too long._

_Holly: (Sad face) I know. I was thinking the other day I did something really stupid before I left home._

_Gail: what u do?_

_Holly: I forgot to carry my finger vibrator._

_Gail: Oh … I thought it was something serious._

_Holly: It is._

_Gail: Why is that serious? Use your fingers._

_Holly: I'm dying here._

_Gail: um…_

_Holly: I need a good fuck baby. My hand will only do so much._

_Gail: OH (shocked face). Then yea, leaving your vibrator was really stupid._

_Holly: (Crying face) Will u help?_

_Gail: How?_

_Holly: You know …_

_Gail: Now?_

_Holly: Uh huh_

_Gail: (Sighs). How did you ever get me into sexting?_

_Holly: By showing you pics like this…._

"Gail…"

"Hmm?"

"So where is Chris?" Steve asked again.

"He went on the road to…" she paused, unsure of how to present the information. " to acquire some Intel" she decided.

Steve raised a brow. "Do I really want to know?"

"No. No you don't."


	6. Chapter 6

"Anything useful in the report?" Steve asked Gail later that afternoon but Gail wasn't listening to him, she was too busy watching Chris Diaz who had just entered the station.

She half scanned the report for a few seconds before her eyes were drawn back to Chris. He was headed their way but his movements were slow and sluggish. He also looked sullen and his usual smiling face replaced with a frown. Gail could relate, it had just been that kind of day and was looking to be that kind of week.

"Well?" Steve asked her again.

Chris approached them then and pulled up a chair. Flopping in it, as it offered him some kind of life support. He looked tired and although he was in uniform, bullet proof vest and all he looked disheveled.

"How did it go?" Gail asked Chris ignoring Steve's question about the report.

"Our neighborhood junkie wasn't exactly chatty." Chris told them as he pulled off his vest. "He seemed spooked."

"So… he did see something." Steve voiced.

"He did." Chris confirmed "but he wasn't talking, not even for a twenty."

"So it was a bust?!" Gail asked irritated.

"Not exactly … I had to change my tactics. I couldn't afford to leave empty handed." Chris rubbed his knuckles then, giving Gail time to notice that they were freshly bruised. How much of his tactics had he changed? "He finally admitted that he saw someone run from the scene. " He's with the sketch artist now. "

"Good work." Steve touched patted Chris's shoulder. "At least we'll know who we are looking for now. Gail the report?"

"Right. It says here she was suffocated with sodium polyacrylate? " Gail read making a face. She had no idea what that was. Steve was just as clueless. "I'll call Holly and ask her what that is commonly used in."

"No need. It's that thing used in a baby diaper." Chris told them causing raised eyebrows all around. "What?!" the boyish grin was back. "I use to read up on these things."

"So a diaper?" Gail questioned. "Did the killer bring diapers because he knew she was going to give birth? I'll see if the lab can get us the brand of diaper used."

"He probably brought the diaper for the baby but killing her wasn't planned." Steve added. "Maybe the father took the baby?"

"Do we have a match on that yet?" Chris asked.

"Martin ran the mom's DNA and got a hit… Lana Lewis. He's running the sample we got from the placenta now for the father." Steve told Chris.

"Run it across all databases Martin." Gail told the tech who was still sitting nearby. "Not just criminal ones. The dad may not have a record." Martin typed quickly on his keyboard and soon it pinged.

"We have a hit." he informed them.

"What's his name?" Steve asked.

"Dov Epstein …" Martin informed them and all three held a collected breath as they waited for Martin to say more. He had to say more because surely there had to be more than one Dov Epstein in the Toronto area. It couldn't have been their Dov "Your Dov Epstein" Martin clarified slowly turning his monitor towards them so that they could get a full view of Dov from his official police picture.

The room slowly drew its last breath.

"So who wants to say what we are all thinking?" Steve said, recovering first.

"Dov's relationship with this woman, may have been what jeopardized the sting last night." Gail sighed in disbelief.

"… and he has a missing child out there." Steve's face was grim. "We have to find his child."

Gail watched as Chris closed his eyes for an instant, the information seemingly washing over him. Nothing was making sense to her either. How could Dov have gotten so involved in a case, to the point where he had gotten a murdered woman pregnant? She then watched Chris jump from his chair and stalked out. She should have tried to stop him but what was the use. She knew exactly where he was headed and why. She was going to do the same. He was going to demand answers from Dov who had no way of defending himself or give answers that would shed light on a case that was getting more complex than anymore could have imagined. What was it – dead man tell no tales? Well neither did a comatose one and just maybe that's why Dov was shot that night.

* * *

The February night was cold and windy, causing Steve to tug his coat a little closer as he exited his car. Meeting his dad to talk about the case had turned into a family dinner at his mother's insistence. '_I never see you and Tracey anymore. Bring her by I'll make a roast._' she had complained and after a moment of plea, followed by the emotional equivalent to the twisting of his arm, Steve had given in to her demand.

So here he was, parked in front of his parents' house. A large brick façade home with reclaimed oak doors and he was dreading every moment to be spent behind them. He rounded the car and pulled open the door for his wife, extending a helpful hand as she rose from the vehicle.

"You know you didn't have to come right?" he told her as he closed the door.

"I did." Tracey said tight lipped. Not coming would have given Elaine Peck another reason not to like her. Not that she was having trouble finding her own reasons. In the past there had been a few. First Tracey was the _'baby mama' _who got pregnant too young. Then she was the two bit whore who slept around the station and finally she had trapped Steve into marriage by getting pregnant.

Steve frowned before pressing the doorbell. "I could have made an excuse for you."

"Any excuse you made would have amounted to a lie." Tracey explained "and you've never been able to lie to your mother." she touched his cheek and turned to him then. "But that's okay. She pressed a kiss to his lips. "I love you anyway."

Steve smiled despite himself and he leaned into Tracey's kiss. The past couple of months had been hard, especially on her but she hadn't stopped being loving and supportive. "I love you more…" he told her just before the front door opened. His mother's smiling face greeting them.

* * *

It stood at the other end of the hall, day in and day out watching her every movement, Holly was sure. It was tall, dark, thick and imposing and Holly feared it.

The door.

As simple as it was she'd grown to fear the door. By all appearances it was an ordinary door. About six feet high made from wood with chrome handles and stained brown. It looked like every other door in their home, but it was different. It was the door to the nursery ... to her nightmares. It was the door that held the room that had robbed her of her child, her hopes, and her future and now as sure as day would give way to night it infested her dreams and robbed her of her sanity.

Beyond the nondescript door had once held promises. Promises to love and protect. She hadn't been able to do either. In better circumstances the room would have been a welcomed retreat. It held yellow curtains that expectant mothers had spent hours deciding on. A refurbished white crib that grandfathers had bonded over building and a rocking chair that had been passed down through the years. It was the perfect room, for a little girl who had been loved and cherished long before she'd taken her first breath.

Now it stood a room of bad and shameful memories. Memories Holly could not block from her mind or accept in her heart. Memories that had refused to vanish with time. She closed her eyes for a moment, steadying her nerves as she took a breath and made her way down the opposite end of the hall. Maybe Gail was right. Maybe therapy would help. Maybe there was peace to be found in bearing ones soul.

Holly had been sitting on the couch, skimming a medical journal while worriedly checking the watch for about an hour when she heard the front door open.

"You're home." It sounded more accusatory than Holly wanted. She was honestly just surprised and at the same time relieved to see her wife. Gail was home because Gail wanted to be there...not because she ran out of clothes, or anything else that was passing for an excuse between them these days. So Holly tried to soften her statement with a smile.

It was too late.

"Yes .. I said I would be." Gail shrugged off her jacket and hung it on the rack by the door.

"I know.. Its just.." Holly fumbled.

"Am I late?" it was a challenge.

"Um …No.." the brunette said rising from the couch.

"Then?" Gail raised an eyebrow at her. So Holly hadn't believed her, when she said she'd be home. Her words had meant nothing. Which to be honest really wasn't much of a surprise to Gail. She'd been absent in her marriage, not by choice but still absent. She made her way into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator, Holly followed.

"Dinner is going to be about six more minutes." Holly estimated. She'd decided not to poke the bear any further. There was no benefit to upsetting Gail. She would just storm out, leaving them at square one.

Gail halved her bottle of water and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "That's okay, I had a big lunch."

"Yeah?" Holly asked washing her hand at the sink. "What did you get?" she was making conversation. It was a while since they had just talked. Talking about what they ate for lunch wasn't the most interesting of conversations but it was easier than talking about their marriage.

"A tuna melt on wheat."

"Yeah? How far did you have to go to get that?" Holly asked. "Your favorite deli stopped serving it a while back."

"I don't know." Gail shrugged. "Meg brought it for me." Gail drained the rest of the bottle.

"Meg?" Holly was mildly curious. She set out two plates and pulled open the draw to get utensils.

"Yeah drinking buddy Meg. The doctor." Gail reached into the cupboard for the cheese puffs, the only snack she was still allowed to enjoy. "You've met her."

Holly hadn't.

"Hey! No!" Holly tried to snatch the snack bag from Gail. "You are going to ruin your appetite! Gail!"

"What am I six?" Gail chuckled holding the bag out of Holly's reach and they backed and forth for a few playful unexpected moments before Holly gave up the losing battle grinning as she did so.

For a moment Gail allowed herself to watch Holly smile and relax. The way she gave that lopsided smile that went right to her eyes had been the singular event that had caused Gail to fall for her. The way Holly's dark long hair bounced over her shoulder as her head tilted back… brought back sweeter memories.

"What?" Holly asked, finally calming down. "Do I have something on my face?"

Gail nodded and took a step forward.

"Yeah? What?" Holly swatted at her cheek." Slapping herself.

"My lips…"

Gail pulled Holly close but paused waiting, hoping for an invitation and when it was granted by Holly's hand rounding her neck, pulling her towards her lips. Gail slowly kissed her. It was tentative at best, a permission sought at every touch, every stroke before holly deepened it, and while more was wanted … needed. Gail was not selfish, she allowed Holly to withdraw at the end leaving them wrapped in each other's arms, their foreheads touching as breaths evened out and they slowly parted without disappointment or resentment …because it was okay to just kiss, without the expectation of more.

"I think dinner is ready." Holly said stepping away. In the thick of it all the oven timer had gone off.

"Good, I'm starved!"

"For dinner?" it was said in jest.

"Yes!" Gail uncharacteristically blushed and Holly laughed for the second time that evening.

Gail pulled two glasses from the cupboard and a bottle of nonalcoholic wine that was chilling in the fridge while Holly served dinner. They then got comfy on the couch eating and talking while watching their favorite police procedural show. It was almost normal, normal to the point where they could forget their problems and just enjoy each other's company.

"So how long have you known Meg?" Holly asked.

She hadn't forgotten.

"Maybe six months?" Gail calculated before taking the last bite of her dinner.

Holly then proceeded to gather as much information as she could about this Meg person. It was after all in her best interest to know who her wife was spending time with. Especially when it wasn't her.

* * *

Dinner had come and gone in a strained polite fashion, which was typical for a Peck family dinner. Now gathered in the living room, enjoying the pie he and Tracey had brought over. Steve and his dad discussed the Lana Lewis case, while their wives listened, joining in occasionally.

"So was it a full term pregnancy?" Elaine asked.

"Yes, Holly confirmed it was." Steve answered and they all watched Elaine flinch at the sound of Holly's name. "All indications show that the baby would have been born alive."

"So even a woman presumably homeless with not much to help herself can carry a baby to full term?" Elaine said, it was another coy attempt at voicing her displeasure over the news that they had miscarried again.

"Mom…" it was a warning.

"No Steve." Tracey said touching his arm. "Let her speak. Your mother has been making backhand comments all evening. So say what you need to say Elaine."

"Elaine, please don't." Bill pleaded. His wife had a way of saying things. Hurtful things.

"All I'm saying is that she didn't have trouble with her pregnancies before!" Elaine hissed, she would not be deterred. "And now she's 'miscarried' three?!"

"Elaine…" Bill's voice was stern.

"For all we know she could be deliberately miscarrying." Came the accusation.

"Mother you are being inappropriate." Steve warned.

Disbelief clouded Tracey's eyes and Steve braced himself. Had his mother really just said that? Had she really just accused his wife deliberately aborting the pregnancies?!

"How dare you?!" Tracey snapped. "I would never kill my child! Steve and I desperately want to have a baby." Do you have any idea of hard this has been on us?"

"We haven't actually seen you miscarry have we?" Elaine was relentless. "You could just be making it up, to keep Steve hopes up, so he'll stay married, then take it away."

"Okay this has gone far enough." Bill said getting to his feet.

"You know how much having a Peck heir means to me and Bill to continue the Peck Dynasty. You are probably trying to spite us!" Elaine spat.

With Gail turning gay, Steve was her only hope and as far as Elaine was concerned. If he hadn't chosen such a poor choice in mate. There would have been tons of grandchildren for her to mold and shape already.

"This has NOTHING to do with you!" Tracey screamed in disbelief. "This is about Steve and I and the loss we've been through. It's ludicrous that you'd think, I'd get rid of my child just to upset you. This isn't about you."

"You are out of line mother." Steve finally said, "You need to apologize." he calmly demanded. He looked over to Tracey but she remained unmoving, her eyes challenged his mother's and they seem to be in some kind of face off, or an odd game of who would blink first.

"No" Elaine said her arms folded. "She needs to show us proof of the miscarriage. Why should we take her word for it?"

"My wife will do no such thing." Steve told his mom sternly as he reached for his wife's hand. "We take her word for it because I believe what my wife tells me." he squeezed Tracey's hand a bit tighter in that moment and she held on just as strongly, giving Steve all the support he needed. "We are leaving." He decided giving his father an apologetic look before Steve took his wife and walked out of his parents' house..

* * *

"Gail?" Holly called from her position on the bed later that night. "Baby are you coming to bed?"

Gail had stepped in the bathroom about twenty minutes before but had not returned. Holly had sat nervously applying lotion, twice as she listened to the usual bathroom noises. The shower running, with the singular anguish cry of cold water touching exposed skin. Teeth being over brushed... flossing and the very familiar sound of a bladder being emptied followed by the strains of a number two.

But still no Gail.

Maybe Gail was nervous? She certainly was.

They hadn't slept in the same bed in months. Would they know how to act? Would she be able to sleep? What if she accidentally touched Gail during the night? Would Gail think she was wanting sex? Was her night gown appropriate? Holly suddenly felt uncomfortable in the silk camisole she was wearing. It _was_ her usual attire for bed. Since being married she'd done away with the t-shirts and sweats for bed, she hadn't wanted to be one of those wives that let themselves go. She'd always wanted to give Gail an image of what she'd come home to each night, so that Gail would want her with the urgency of a hunger that could not be denied. Yet that's not what Holly wanted tonight, so maybe sweats was what the night had called for. She was about to climb out of bed when Gail came into view.

"Sorry, I'm here." the blonde walked the small distance to the bed.

"Did you change your mind about staying?"

"No… but I thought about it." Gail admitted as she eased into bed. "I need to be here though. So let's do this."

"Okay."

"Well … goodnight." Gail turned off the lamp by the bed and lowered her head to her pillow.

"Gail..."

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Gail's pine stiffened, what was she forgetting? "Um..."

"We should pray." Holly reminded and Gail eased up on her elbow. She hadn't realized Holly was still doing that. She'd asked Gail to pray for the safekeeping and safe return of their daughter months before. At the start Holly prayed every night since Ava was taken. Gail had knelt beside her in prayer, then she'd gotten weary and had instead laid on the couch and listened to Holly pray from behind the closed bedroom door.

Gail didn't believe in prayer, she was surprised Holly did. Sitting around on bended knees didn't solve cases or get results, it was a time wasting event as far as she was concerned but she indulged her wife, because when there were no leads and no evidence, a single prayer was what carried the hope needed to make it through another day. The hope that was needed to believe that all wasn't lost. So Gail got off the bed and both she and Holly got on their knees to pray.

"Will you?" Holly asked and Gail nodded before clasping her hands and closing her eyes.

_"__Um .. dear Lord." She began. "It's me …. Gail Peck and my wife Holly. I haven't been here in a while but please don't hold it against Holly or our daughter … Ava. She's actually who I wanted to talk to you about tonight. You see, she's still missing ...and I'm looking everywhere to find her, but I don't seem to be looking in the right places. I'm really working hard and I haven't lost hope but I just need a little help, cause it's getting harder each day not knowing. Where she is …If she's safe ...So if you could give me a sign or just point me in the right direction … I promise to do the rest. I will. I won't be one of those lazy Christians who you send help to and they sit and do nothing. I just need a little help Lord any help you can spare but if you can't help me now, for whatever reason you may have cause I know I'm not that good of a person. Can you please help my daughter? Can you keep her safe a little longer? Can you place her in the care of someone who will make sure that she's always fed? Wrap her in warm clothes cause this winter is really bad and someone who will hold her when she cries. If we could …we would hold her when she cries.I'm asking too that you keep my wife strong, keep her filled with love and keep her hope alive. Ava needs her hope. I do too. Thank you for listening, wherever you are. In your name I pray .."_

"Amen" she and Holly both said before getting to their feet.

" Gail … that was beautiful Thank you." Holly's smile was small but it warmed Gail's heart like no fire could and she smiled back at the brunette because no words were needed.

They returned to bed moments later with Gail laying on her back, arm tucked behind her head. Sleep came fast and furious that night, no doubt fueled by exhaustion. She hadn't slept in days and hadn't been in a bed in weeks. It was only later in the night that Gail stirred, feeling the movements of Holly, as her wife sought and found refuge in her arms but it was sometime after that another familiar movement was felt. It was the movement of Holly frantically suffering as she relived the night of the attack in a nightmare.

_"__Don't bother to move. I'll get it." Tracey said mid laugh as she rose to answer the ringing door. It was another Friday night meeting of the Peck Wives Club as Gail had called it. Being pregnant meant a lot of nights in for Tracey and Holly, rather than out drinking with Gail and Steve._

_"__Thanks I appreciate it." Holly made herself more comfortable on the couch, which was virtually impossible when she was this far along. She was in the final days of her pregnancy and now she and Gail were pretty much just waiting for their baby girl to be born. Tracey and Steve on the other hand were just approaching the five months mark. She had enjoyed her pregnancy for the most part and it had sailed by pretty uneventful, now she was ready to meet their baby and be a mom._

_Holly really wanted to be a mom._

_"__No prob, I could barely move at that stage." Tracey replied "and honestly I'm not looking forward to that again" she laughed pulling the door open and that's when she came face to face with the barrel of a gun._

_AN: I'm sorry this is late getting to you.'I'm in the process of moving and Ive been hella busy trying to get organized. Who knew I had accumulated so much junk in the space of 2 years? I didnt. lol So I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it and let me know what you think._


	7. Chapter 7

**START** **- Snip From Chapter 6 -** **It was only later in the night that Gail stirred, feeling the movements of Holly, as her wife sought and found refuge in her arms but it was sometime after that another familiar movement was felt. It was the movement of Holly frantically suffering as she relived the night of the attack in a nightmare.** "**Don't bother to move. I'll get it." Tracey said mid laugh as she rose to answer the ringing door. It was another Friday night meeting of the Peck Wives Club as Gail had called it. Being pregnant meant a lot of nights in for Tracey and Holly, rather than out drinking with Gail and Steve.** "**Thanks I appreciate it." Holly made herself more comfortable on the couch, which was virtually impossible when she was this far along. She was in the final days of her pregnancy and now she and Gail were pretty much just waiting for their baby girl to be born. Tracey and Steve on the other hand were just approaching the five months mark. She had enjoyed her pregnancy for the most part and it had sailed by pretty uneventful, now she was ready to meet their baby and be a mom.** **Holly really wanted to be a mom.** "**No prob, I could barely move at that stage." Tracey replied "and honestly I'm not looking forward to that again" she laughed pulling the door open and that's when she came face to face with the barrel of a gun….** **- Snip From Chapter 6 -**

**END**

* * *

**HOLLY**

I think I'm dreaming…or consciously dreaming. I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm suddenly pulled from a death like state and elevated to a step above death. I am here…well my mind is...here.

Lilacs….

The air suddenly smelled like lilacs. Fresh Lilacs, the ones found in a meadow on a spring morning. The kind that had been dipped in morning dew. Not the horrid musty ones found in cheap perfume bottles. Effortlessly it cascades through my body filling my senses and wash over me like a calming presence. I have always loved the smell of lilacs… Gail buys me lilacs.

I can hear talking.

Its faint. Muffled.

Like whispers in the passing wind. A call from a long hallway or a voice seeking an inattentive audience. My ears strained to listen. My mind fought for clarity but it was babble, gibberish even. Slowly my sluggish mind clawed its way to understanding and the sounds suddenly became words … they were talking about me! It all came crashing back! Memories flooding an already foggy brain and the fear and panic instantly ripped through my spine.

I remembered!

There was an intruder! A gun! Tracey was shot! I was drugged and knocked unconscious! They had come for my unborn child! We had tried to escape. Our fight or flight responses had turned into a full on fight club. Tracey had tussled with the intruder only to be silenced by his silencer and I had been stabbed with a needle.

I had to get out of here!

I had to get help!

I had to get to Gail!

Wake up Holly!

Move! I screamed at myself, but my body ignored me. It was being an ignorant bastard. It held me prisoner, an unwilling party to this deadly plan. Trapping and serving me on a platter for the taking. What had had I been drugged with?

Succinylcholine?

"She's not responding to pain." Someone said.I think I was just slapped on the cheek. The voice sounded distorted or muffled by something.

"Isn't that the point?!" the other questioned anxiously.

"No …you've rendered her completely unconscious. I wanted to induce labour." the reply was strained. "Now I'm going to have to cut her." The person over me replied.

There was still the scent of lilacs in the air.

"Just cut her and let's go! You are wasting time."

"Holly? Can you hear me?" the voice asked.

They knew my name?

There was muffled sounds and shuffling on the ground near me. Like shouting but low and pained.

"Shut up bitch!" the other intruder sounded irritated and seconds later there was the sound of metal bruising skin and a whimpered cry of pain.

Tracey?

"Holly can you hear me? Holly?" my cheek was slapped again. "How much of that thing did you give her?" the person over me asked.

"I don't know man! She was putting up too much of a fight." the other complained. "So I just stabbed her with the injection. Pregnant Mohammad Ali here packs a punch..."

There was a groan from the person above me. My eye was spread open and a light flashed in. "Holly?" I squinted the light was too bright. "Okay she's coming to, you didn't give her too much." Even in my hazy state I could tell the person over me was female. Even with the mask hiding her face, her breasts and small stature gave her away, plus …. she smelled of lilacs. " I'm going to prepare the regional anesthesia."

Slowly my other senses woke. They strained against the dormancy that had overtaken them. Like a colt taking its first steps and stretched their muscles with life and purpose.

I had purpose.

Get help.

Keep calm.

I looked over at Tracey, she laid lifeless, her blood now stained the plush cream carpeting. She was awake…barely. She had been bandaged. Clearly they hadn't come here to kill us but if I didn't get help soon she'd bleed out for sure. Should I fight my way through again? Somehow that felt like a fool's errand. I could barely feel my limbs.

Tracey blinked.

I had almost missed it, but then she did it again. Her eyes slowly moved upward. She was trying to show me something, but what? I watched her again, trying to follow the inaudible direction and slowly it became clear. She was pointing me to under the center table.

To the panic button.

How had I forgotten it? Gail and Steve had only just installed it. Looking back, I had complained bitterly at having it placed at such an awkward angle. I'd fussed that I would never be in a position on the floor where I would need to press the bottom. Now as I laid here, half paralyzed on my back the irony of my situation was not lost on me.

I slowly try to move, my limbs no longer dead but heavy. Our capturers were busy devising the best plan of action to rip my child from my womb. So slowly I reach for under the table. My first effort was futile but I would not be deterred. With life coming to my fingers I reach again, this time pressing the button.

"She's fully awake!" the man snapped grabbing my hand, but he failed to notice the button under the table. I flung my hands at them, trying to fend them off, but their movements were quick to the task, pulling and pinning my zombie like movements.

"Gag her just in case." the woman instructed. "I'm going to give her the regional anesthesia now."

"Can we inject her arms as well? I dont want anymore trouble from her." the man said. The drug worked fast and rendered me limp in no time, but help would come.

Gail would come.

She would not let them take our baby.

Time passed … slow …Had the panic button worked? Did we put battery in it? Where was Gail? I just laid there. I felt nothing and saw only the ceiling. A few times the man passed in my line of sight, he was stout, heavyset. He was also heavily masked. Gloves, black bandanna, jacket. I couldn't make out his race, hair colour, nothing. The only defining thing about him was the way he held his gun.

I heard crying.

My baby?

"It's a girl." The woman said.

A baby girl? We have a daughter... Ava…. I try to turn to get a look but I'm still unable to move. I try again. Still nothing! Fuck! Gail still wasn't here, if they had the baby they were about to leave.

No!

My chest suddenly felt tight and my heart thundered in my chest. I needed to get up! I needed to move! I couldn't let them take her! God please help me to move! I just need to move. Gail!

"She looks healthy." The woman was telling the man. "Wrap her up, so that I can finish this." She handed him my child and I look up as he stands above me with her wrapped in his hands.

"No…" my voice is nonexistent.

I sob. Silently. I can feel the tears sting at my eyes and my heart is no longer thundering, threatening to burst from my chest. Instead, it's heavy. Its dying. I'm about to lose my child. I watch as he bundles my daughter a little closer then straps her in a carrier and picks it up.

"I'm sorry, we have to take her." The woman responds. "… but you dont deserve her."

A lesson?

"Please no…." I cry. My arms are finally waking up and I pull at the restriction over my mouth. I try to do more but my lower half is dead.

"Honey I'm home!" The front door opens and before anyone can comprehend what's happening, Gail and the man both drew their weapons and the woman abandons her task of sewing me up and is now pointing a gun at my head.

"Holly?!"

"Gail!" even with a gun at my head relief washed over me. "Our baby! They have her!"

"Put her down!" Gail shouted. "Now!"

"We can't do that." the man challenged. "Now... dying is a real possibility for you and your wife today." he warned us. "Allow us to take the baby and you both live."

"I can't do that." Gail's response was tight.

"Be smart." He told her. "The longer we stay here, your wife will bleed out. Your friend already has." He said referring to Tracey. "Let us go…"

"I said put her down!" Gail yelled, her voice sounding tense. "I will kill you."

He didn't seem rattled by the threat. I may have rattled him with my attack earlier but he was in his element now. "Allow us to leave with the baby and save your wife and your life…" the man told her.

"Put down my child." Gail repeated.

"I could just kill your wife…" he challenged.

"Save our baby! I dont care about me." I screamed at Gail. "Don't let them take her." I begged Gail but all she did was look to me, then to the man, her body unmoving. She was stone still, her spine stiff against the pressure of the decision she was being ask to make. We all stood in the face off for what felt like hours until the baby's cry broke the silence.

"Times wasting! Can't decide!?" the man suddenly cracked. " Then let me make the choice for you!" he barked and my world went dark.

"Holly! Holly!" I was being called again by a frantic sobbing voice. I open my eyes slowly and see Gail. Her face and clothes are covered in blood. I can feel her hand on me, but it felt more like in me, applying pressure to my body. "Its Detective Peck , I need an ambulance at…." Gail was saying in her phone. " I've been shot … shoulder ... but I need help for my wife, she's been shot in the abdomen and she's was given an illegal c-section. There is too much blood." she sobbed. " I cant get it to stop." she finally notices i'm wake. "Holly stay with me." she begged. "Please..."

"Our...baby?"

Gail stilled, her blue eyes graying and she shakes her head. " I'm sorry. They took her." she says and I suddenly know what death feels like. " Holly! No! Stay awake!"she cries " Keep your eyes open." she tells me but my world empties into darkness.

* * *

" Baby wake up …" Gail shook Holly, hoping to wake her. Her wife had been crying in her sleep. "You were having a bad dream." Holly opened her eyes and slowly sat up in bed. " The same one?" Gail asked.

Holly nods and Gail understands.

Gail pulled her close and Holly all but collapsed into her arms, she needed the safety and comfort Gail's arm offered in a night that had been plagued by nightmare.

" I'm sorry." Holly quietly sobbed but Gail only shook her head before kissing her forehead. There was no need for apologies. Holly had nothing to be sorry for. What she had gone through was hard and devastating. To be made a victim and your child stolen from your womb was something no woman should have had to go through...

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :)


	8. Chapter 8

Gail looked forward to this.

The challenge, journey and eventual accomplishment that her morning jog brought. The beads of sweat on her neck, the crunching of her sneakers on the ground and the hissing of her breath as it kissed the crisp air. They were all constant reminders of the challenge she faced but were also rewards on her journey to the finish line. A line that had Holly still tucked in bed waiting for her.

It was morning though… early morning with night still combing the Toronto skyline as Gail made her way through the winding tree lined track. At first her muscles ached and rebelled against the torture of the 10 mile run, they were after all tired and injury riddled but now they rejoiced and reveled in it. Easily propelling her along the track and willing to go the extra miles if needs be. It had taken her body time to heal after being shot and sheer willpower on her part to overcome the mental trauma she'd sustained but Gail had made it through to the other side and was more than thankful to be alive.

Her morning run provided more than exercise though. It gave Gail time to think. It often provided her with peace and clarity in a life that was at times _more_ than ordinary.

Gail missed ordinary … craved it.

She longed for days when the highlight of it was children throwing slushies' at her, but that life had come and gone like a whispering wind. Leaving only memories behind that had begun to fade with time. Her life was now complex and uncertain. Tainted with disappointments and taunted by fears she had yet to overcome.

So her morning jogs, as much as she loved them, provided no peace and Gail hadn't been able to think or focus on much either. Her body may have fought sleep and won but mental exhaustion was slowly taking its toll.

Gail was tired.

Last night had been sleepless again and much of it was spent, keeping vigil over Holly as she slept. To be fair Holly was not to be blamed for the lack of sleep. Gail hadn't really slept in months so she hadn't expected last night to be different. It was just hard to find the peace that the mother of sleep cradled and protected like a newborn when her slumber was often plagued by nightmares. Being awake was like a prick that kept on sticking but there was one advantage … and singularly it seem to make up for the tired eyes and lethargic limbs that called Gail home.

She got to watch Holly sleep and Gail had missed that.

At the birth of their relationship she'd often wake early just to watch Holly sleep. Waiting patiently, unmoving as that internal alarm clock went off and Holly's body slowly stretched to life and untangled from the cocoon of sheets. The best part was when brown eyes took their first peak of the day and found Gail in their presence.

The moment seemed ethereal to Gail. Holly would look at her like she was the only person worth seeing in this world and her lips would slowly curve into the sexiest of smiles that tugged happily at Gail's heart. Then Holly would whisper '_good morning_ _my love_' and somehow Gail knew she really meant it… The words may have fell from Holly's lips but had rested firmly on Gail's heart each and every morning she'd heard them.

But there were other things … the before things that Gail treasured as well.

Like the way the moonlight and sunlight danced over her wife's tanned skin and Holly's muscles swayed to an unheard rhythm as she breathed. Holly's hair had a life of its own too. It often started in the ponytail but by morning it would be a wild mess that attacked Gail during the night, getting all over her face and in her mouth.

In the moment Gail had complained bitterly but last night after nights of being away. When long brown strands had crept to her neck, she'd welcomed the invasion. Gail had even been happy to listen to the light snoring of Holly and had smiled with remembrance at the occasional drool that would grace her wife's pillow and a few times her own. It was funny what you missed when you have been absent from your life and Gail had missed it all.

She missed her wife.

"Peck! Peck!"

"Huh?" Gail turned at the sound of her name only to see Chris jogging up the path. He huffed and puffed his way to a less than coordinated stop and took a moment to catch his breath by clasping against a tree. " Chris?" she looked around for a moment, unsure of where he had come from.

"Yes me! Chris!" he responded slightly annoyed. "I've been trying to get your attention from about a mile back." he looked down the long path he'd just raced in disgust.

"Oh… Mmm…" she wasn't too concerned.

"Why were you running so fast?" he wanted to know. "Are you running away from something?"

"My troubles." Her reply was inaudible.

"What?" his brow knitted.

Gail shook her head. "No, I was just running ..." she put herself in a stretching position as she spoke. "What are you doing here anyway? You don't run."

She was right, Chris wasn't the jogging kind. He preferred going to the gym but he'd wanted to see her outside of work and knew she would be here.

"I wanted your opinion on something…" Chris said forging leaning on the tree to planting his butt firmly on the ground. Why stand when you could sit?

"Yeah ? Really?" Gail stretched a hamstring. "What you need?"

"Well um..." he seemed nervous all of a sudden.

"I haven't got all day Diaz." it was her way of encouraging him to speak up.

"It's about Hillary." he said deciding to be brave. "I'm thinking of asking her to marry me?"

"Yeah?" her response was skeptical at best. Gail figured Chris was headed in this direction sooner or later. She just wasn't sure about his reasons at this particular juncture. Lots had happen to them this week. A baby was missing, Dove was in a coma, Chris got injured and a woman died. Gail had barely had time to process anything much less contemplate something as serious deciding to get married.

"Yeah…" he sighed. Clearly disappointed by her response. "I want to know what you think."

"I … I think if you love her and want to spend the rest of your life building and cherishing that love, then … Yes. You should ask her to marry you."

Chris thought for a moment then asked. " How did you decide? How did you know you wanted to marry Holly?" he paused, his brow knitted for a moment. "Cause I was there Gail, we were at the slots and you just…popped the question." he smiled a little and Gail joined him, remembering the flurry of activities that led to her less than glamorous but more than perfect proposal.

It was a simple question for her and one which Gail had no trouble explaining to Chris. Sure to the outside world her proposal had seemed rushed, unplanned and came clear out of left field, but it had been a moment of clarity for Gail and one for Holly too.

As the slot machine had rang out signaling that she'd matched 3 and so had won. Gail had realized that what she already had was worth more than coins in the slot machine. Her prize had been sitting next to her laughing and smiling all night even though she was losing on the slots.

Her prize was Holly.

Holly … who had stalked her on an undercover mission. Waited patiently for her, for weeks when their relationship was in a perilous state. Stood strong beside her when she had almost lost her job and provided a safe haven, when Gail had felt homeless and rejected by her mom.

Holly had been her prize all along.

So as the bells alarmed and the crowds surrounded them. Holly and Gail had stood facing each other. Pulled by an invisible magnet, that firmly secured them into each other's arms and with no words between them. Each allowed the sounds around them to dull and fade into the distance. Leaving only the two of them in a private and silent conversation that held a quiet understanding that they were both ready in that moment to take the steps that their hearts had made years before.

The Gail said….

_"__I love you Holly Stewart … because I love … and I am in love with all you are now and hope to be." Gail had finally said. "I want to marry you because I could not love another with the same strength and conviction that I feel for you. My heart would not allow it. I want to marry you because you have brought out the best version of me and then thought me to love that person. I love me … because of you. I want to marry you because I know that no matter how far off this path we may go. Our love is a lighthouse that will guide us home. I want to forever call you home." Gail then took a knee and with no ring to formalize her proposal. She took off her Saint Michael's__Medallion for the first time since she had gotten it and presented it to Holly and asked. "Will you marry me?" and with tears in her eyes and a voice choked by emotions. Holly had accepted pulling Gail into a stream of kisses and hugs and a lot of crying. They were married less than an hour later and while unexpected Gail wouldn't have changed anything._

"I love her." Chris confirmed after Gail explained. "I want to be with Hillary forever."

"…and this has nothing to do with your brush with death? or Dove?" Gail queried.

"No..." he seemed calm and assured in his answer "No. I just love Hillary and want to be with her."

"Then ask her to marry you."

"But how am I going to propose?" he looked slightly panicked now.

"Don't ask me." Gail laughed shaking her head. "I don't know anything about proposals. I just … spoke … from my heart." The admission surprised her.

"Didn't know you had one, right?" Chris quipped. Which earned him a sock in the shoulder from her and a laugh from both of them.

"You have a good heart Gail." Chris admitted. "And it shows every time you are with Holly... but Hillary isn't Holly." He reminded.

"No … that she isn't." It was Gail's turn to admit something.

"So I need to put a little more effort in my proposal." Chris added. "My heart doesn't speak as eloquently as yours. I have to plan and Hillary is more of a big gesture kind of girl."

"That she is as evidenced by her wedding journal." Gail tried not to roll her eyes. That book had at least 200 pages she was sure. She could vividly recall the months Tracey, Holly, Andie and Hillary had spent pouring over the book and the weeks leading up to Tracey's wedding, it had become somewhat of a bible for them." She'll appreciate a proposal with a little more thought." Gail agreed.

"Go big or go home!" Chris laughed.

"Just make it special." was Gail's closing words. They took the trail once more with the conversation moving to what could only be called office gossip but the thoughts of weddings and proposals remained a lingering thought for Gail. Holly had always seemed genuinely happy with how they had gotten married but now looking back. Gail couldn't help think that maybe she should have done more to make the occasion special.

* * *

At the end of their morning run and a few leg stretches later. Chris and Gail said their goodbyes. She was cutting across a playground when she spotted a woman that looked like Meg in the distance, seated on a park bench.

"Meg?" Gail called as she approached the other woman. "Meg?"

At the sound of her name, Meg looked up and around until her eyes landed on Gail. By all accounts Meg didn't exactly look happy to see her Gail noted. In fact she looked annoyed, which surprised Gail. In all her encounters with the other woman. Meg had always been friendly, cheerful and somewhat… affectionate.

"Hi" the greeting was stiff and her eyes looked on everything except Gail as she shifted uncomfortably on the park bench.

"Hi… nice morning huh?" Gail proceeded cautiously as she attempted small talk.

"Mmmhmmm."

"Are you headed to work? Leaving work?" Gail enquired. It was minutes to 6am.

"Mmmhmm" The response told her nothing. What was wrong with Meg this morning?

"Are you okay? You seem …"

Huh? Oh? Yeah… Sorry Gail. I'm just …." Meg's answer trailed off and she seemed unsure. "You are just catching me at a bad time. That's all." She finally decided.

"Oh…Okay…" Gail didn't believe her.

"Maybe we can catch up later?" Meg rushed.

"Sure. Later. " Gail decided not to push any further. " We can talk later."

"Okay… Great… Bye." Meg said waving her off almost pushing her to leave.

Her cop senses were already of full alert, but Gail didn't want to make a mountain out of a mole so she told Meg goodbye and left the park. Gail was just out of sight, when a white nondescript van stopped in front of Meg and her friend looked tensely around the park once more before she stepped into the vehicle.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hi!"

"Hey…" Gail greeted slightly startled as she entered the house. Had Holly been lurking by the entrance waiting for her? "Good morning..." She also noted that her wife was fully dressed and seemingly ready for work. "You look ..." Gail swallowed a lump. "Really… beautiful."

"I… do?" Holly blushed but her look also held a hint of skepticism.

"You do."

"Um thank you." The brunette fussed with her blouse and touched her hair nervously. "Just getting back from your run?" she asked changing the topic.

"Yeah I am." Gail said kicking off her sneakers and leaving them by the door.

"It's a bit late isn't it? Was everything okay?" Holly asked. "You are normally back before now."

"Yeah that's true." Gail padded her way to the kitchen and once there she took a bottle of water from the fridge. Should she mention the delays with Chris and Meg? "It was a good run though. Chris joined me."

"So you had to run slower than normal." Holly finished with a knowing smile.

Gail smiled. "Pretty much." She took the bottle to her lips and downed a healthy dose. There was no need to mention Chris's proposal. Those things were meant to be surprises after all. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I did … thank you for last night." Her voice was low but grateful. "I haven't been sleeping well."

Gail nodded. She faced the exact predicament. "I'm glad I could help. I'm glad I was there."

"You did." Holly assured as she took a seat by the kitchen island. "I liked you being there." She took a sip of her coffee that had been sitting on the counter. "The bed's been lonely…" she confessed mid sip. " I've been lonely ..."

"Me too."

"Baby I've missed you."

"I know..." Gail frowned. Being absent was her fault.

"I'm glad you are home."

"I want to be home."

"Do you think we can work pass this?" it was an honest question.

Gail nodded.

"Do you remember what you suggested?"

Gail nodded again. So much had been said and not said. Yet she remembered everything.

"I made the call…" Gail's eyes lighted up with realization as Holly spoke. "Dr. Lisa Lynch has an opening….today at noon."

"Okay that good! That's the doctor from our group sessions at the community center years ago?" Gail beamed. This was the first real kind of progress in months and the beginning of the road to the recovery for them, but then she frowned. Her day was booked solid. The sketch artist was finished so she'd be looking at mug shots all morning, not to mention she had six stores to scout that sold that particular type of diapers that was found with the victim. "But it's kind of a short notice babe. I had things…"

Holly made a face. "Gail…"

"Okay. Okay. I will rearrange my work things." she promised. "12 noon."

Holly relaxed into a smile. "Okay. I have to go …" she took a final drink of her coffee. "The ME is still out sick." She rose from the counter and collected her handbag. "So for now, I'm pulling double duty."

"And you still have time to meet at noon?" Gail asked following Holly to the door.

The brunette nodded. "Yes. We make time for things that are important Gail." She said stopping at the front door. "You should know that. You taught me that." Holly seemed upset with her all of a sudden.

Gail _had _thought her that and while the knowledge stung. It was a reminder that Holly still believed that _they_ were important enough to be put above all else. Holly looked sad though. So to comfort her, to comfort them both, Gail leaned forward and dropped a kiss on her wife's down-turned mouth. Holly's lips parted in surprise and Gail felt the soft escape of her breath, saw the blood rise warm and irresistible under her skin and watched Holly's pupils dilate with desire and confusion. She tasted as rich as the coffee she'd been drinking and like the coffee she kicked all of Gail's senses into overdrive.

Her lips were full and soft and moist. Tasty and Gail traced them with her tongue. Nibbled them with her

Teeth and Holly hummed encouragement and curled her fingers in Gail's sports top. And because Gail was a woman in need and want of the touch of her wife, she kissed Holly again...

"Don't be late." Holly whispered against her lips breaking their slowly kiss. "I'll text you the address."

"I won't." Gail promised and helped Holly into her coat.

* * *

"Ok…" Dr. Davis said checking her chart. " We've drawn blood and collected urine. Now I'm going to have a look at your womb….This will be a bit cold." She told Tracey as she began her examination. "and you said this was your third miscarriage?"

Tracey nodded.

After dinner with her in-laws and a brief conversation with Steve she'd decided that first thing this morning she would see a private doctor for a second opinion. Which only became possible after a quick call to Holly this morning. To her luck Holly's friend from medical school and current OB/GYN was happy to see her before work.

Elaine's demand of proof had been woefully out of line last night but it cemented to Tracey that answers were needed. Tracey _did_ want answers. Answers could bring her peace of mind. If it was the gunshot wound causing the miscarriages, she wanted to know for certain. If she wasn't meant to have any more children she was ready to face and accept it. She would help Steve accept it too.

Dr. Davis in focused silence continued to examine Tracey, reading the monitor intently, her brow knitting ever so often. She seemed perplexed by what she saw and took several minutes to examine each section of Tracey's womb closely. When she was finished with the ultrasound she handed Tracey a cloth to clean herself and made a few notes on her chart.

"From what I can see your womb looks healthy Tracey." She made some more jottings on her chart. "In fact it looks too healthy." The doctor noted.

"What does that mean?" Tracey was confused.

"It means. I can see no residual scar tissue from the gunshot wound, your womb is perfectly shaped." The doctor finally said. "In fact I can see now reason why you wouldn't be able to sustain a pregnancy."

"Then what's causing the losses?" Tracey frowned.

"I'm afraid at this point I can't say." The doctor admitted. "I'm hoping your samples will provide more answers."

Feeling dejected. Tracey nodded.

"We will get to the bottom of this." Dr. Davis assured. "and I've put a rush on the samples. We should know more before the weak is out. In the meantime. I need the name of your current OB/GYN."

"I'm not really seeing one." Tracey admitted. "I just go to the clinic at the Hospital, it's just easier and I can get my prenatal vitamins there."

"I understand. Do you remember the name of the last physician that treated you there? I will need to request your file."

"Sure it's Dr. Megan Pike."

* * *

Steve had eaten, showered and was sprawled naked and exhausted across his bed when the phone rang.

"Forget it," he muttered, not bothering to lift his head.

He didn't have the energy. God, he needed sleep. After dinner at his parents, which had ended on a sour note. Steve had gotten a lead on another pending case which had him staking out a warehouse into the early hours of the morning. Fortunately the perpetrators had been caught but it had left him with a ton of paperwork. He had only made it back home this morning to an empty house with half eaten breakfast on the table. Now, it was barely the lunch hour and he just might never move again and sleep till tomorrow. But right now, he'd settle for eight hours of sleep in a row.

But the phone kept ringing.

Turning his head Steve pried one eye open and looked at it. It could be anyone. It could be his mother, calling to tell him that he had been disrespectful to her at dinner. Again. It could be his wife, checking in. They did that from time to time. Just a quick phone call throughout the day to see how each other was doing. Steve appreciated that. Or it could be an emergency, because if life had taught Steve any lesson at all, it was that just about anything could happen.

"Damn it." He yanked up the receiver. _"What?"_

"Dispatch." Rebecca reported in her perpetually cheerful voice.

He groaned and rolled over. " Hey Becky."

"Congrats on the guns and drugs haul last night."

"Uh? Yea. Thanks." _At least someone appreciated his work._ Rubbing his eyes, Steve stared at the ceiling. "Why are you calling?"

"I have a case for you."

Steve groaned. "I'm not on duty, so I'm going back to sleep now."

"You can't."

"Why not?" He heard the rustling of papers as Rebecca shifted things on her desk. He pictured the mess—the stacks, the unified reports, the mugs of coffee and chocolate candy wrappers thrown over everything—and got all the more tense. "Look at the computer screen in front of you," he instructed. "Read me your last call."

"Oh, yeah!" She laughed. "Can't believe I forgot there for a moment. There's a homeless lady downtown waving a knife and causing a disturbance."

"Ok… Can't an on duty officer handle this?"

"They can … but I thought I should call you, because it may be related to your other case."

"How so?" Steve rubbed his gritty, tired eyes and grabbed for his pants. He was back on duty whether he liked it or not.

"She's holding what appears to be a new born infant."

AN/ Thanks for readying everyone! I will be back to regular updates from now on.


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